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Listen Here, Mr. Attorney, Esquire

Part of our job as auditors is that we must receive legal confirmation letters from any attorneys involved in pending or threatened litigation affecting our audit clients. We must receive this letter before we can issue our opinion on the financial statements.

Usually this letter is sufficient. But due to blah blah, it’s been two months since we received said letters, and we need another update before we issue.

We don’t have the time to send out our request again and wait for the mail, so this means making phone calls. No, this means me making phone calls.

It’s pretty cool, though, kind of, because I’m calling to speak to these attorneys directly and the secretary can’t help me. They think they can at first, but it always ends in, “oh, I’ll put you right through.” How often do you get a direct line to an attorney? Normally they wouldn’t give you the time of day.

So I will admit there’s a little bit of a power trip in that. But, that’s not the point.

I talked to one attorney today who told me he couldn’t give out that information over the phone. (Keep in mind, we have a written request signed by the client saying that the attorney can speak to us about litigation, thus no breach the client-attorney privilege is happening). I say to the guy, “That’s interesting because I’ve talked to six other attorneys today and they’ve all spoken freely.”

“Oh, well, uh, our firm has 600 attorneys and there’s a good chance there were others who are working for this client. I’d need a formal request either by email or fax so I have time to corroborate any information.”

That’s fine. I PDF’d him a copy of the original letter we sent to him, as well as his original response, and told him to update it to reflect any changes. Two hours later, I had it. We’re good. Our partner can now go to the client’s board meeting tomorrow and tell them we’re good to go.

So that’s two days in a row where I haven’t let someone get away with b.s. (see previous post). In the past, I think I would have just gone along with it, but I knew this guy was just blowing smoke up my proverbial butt. Busted.

Nice Try, My. EZ Lube

As many of you know, I had Mable’s entire radiator replaced last month. She’s been running pretty great every since.

Today I went to get my oil changed at some 15 minute place because it’s close to work and I have a coupon. When I went to pick it up, the fella working there tries to tell me I need my radiator flushed. Ha!

I told him, “funny, I just had the radiator replaced a month ago.”

“A year ago?” he says.

“No, like, 4 weeks ago.”

“Oh well, uh, I used to work at a radiator place, and when they replace them they don’t put in the proper mix of coolant and water; it’s mostly water.”

“Okay, sure, I’ll have that checked out?”

Idiot. No. In fact, I looked at my coolant later this afternoon. It’s full. Completely fine. And as green as Ecto Cooler®.

***Remember, this post is also available on my newly redesigned website, coming soon to brenthellickson.com. Bookmark it here.

Overhaul (New Website!)

I've decided to finally give iWeb a go. It's an application on the Mac as a part of iLife '08 and it's pretty ridiculous. I created a whole website in about an hour. You can't beat that.

As of now, when you come here, it won't automatically come up. I need to have Pat, my webmaster, find my password to the server so I can change the path brenthellickson.com directs to, blah blah blah.

So, until then, I will keep updating this page, otherwise, if you'd like, you can bookmark http://web.mac.com/bhellickson because that will be updated to. Once I get access to the server, that's the URL that it will be redirecting to, anyways. So do whatever you like.

Like I said, what's up there now took me all of an hour. I intend on importing all of my blog posts from the last 8 years or so and also add all my flickr photo galleries. I haven't decided if I'll use the "my album" type gallery or iPhoto's "web gallery," but I don't need to decide that now.

I hope you all enjoy the new website. It's going to offer me a lot more functionality to make it my own. The one and only drawback is that I can't update it away from home with my work laptop (unless I bring my Macbook, too), but y'all will survive. I think the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.

I'm Partying With the United Nations

Well, that may be a stretch.

I got an email today from a gal who works for the U.S. Mission (Embassy) at the U.N. in Geneva, Switzerland. She wants to use a photo I took of the Alamo for a poster featuring some of the most beloved U.S. landmarks that is going to be given to U.N. diplomats at a July 4th party.

What? Yeah, I know.

So of course I said yes, just give me credit and send me a few copies of the poster. I don't receive any money for it, of course, but I don't care. This marks the 5th picture of mine that's been used for something or another. It's kind of cool that flickr has offered me that kind of exposure (pun). Sure, it'd be cool to make money off of it, but it's pretty neat just to have my photography validated in a way.

I'll take a picture of the poster once I get it so y'all can see. I'm hoping she sends me a copy with a bunch of diplomat guys signatures. How cool would that be?!? Well, it wouldn't be that cool, because I wouldn't know any of them. I should get her to send me a picture of the display they have up at the party though, with some "dips" (I call them dips) in it. That would be pretty cool. Yeah, I think I'll do that.

Lunch With the Dead

I don't really talk about dark topics on my blog, so this will be a first.

I bring a sandwich for lunch every day in an attempt to not spend money eating out all week. Well, I don't really want to sit at my desk or in the break room and eat. It's depressing. I want to get out of the office for an hour and just chill.

I used to go home for lunch every day but that was before I moved further away. I miss that. This past winter, I'd drive to the Target near the office and just park there, roll down the windows, and read. Well, now it's too hot in the direct sunlight. I decided I should maybe find a park with a picnic table in the shade. That would ideal.

I Googled for some parks around the office. The closest one is tiny and has no picnic tables. The next closest one is bigger, but is wide open with hardly any trees. I kept on driving around and stumbled upon what seemed like a real find. It had big gates, a clubhouse, and looked really wide open. They call it "El Toro Memorial Park." Well, little did I realize until I drove in that "Memorial Park" is a nicer way to say "cemetery."

There wasn't anywhere to turn around once I entered this memorial park, so I just kept driving. Then I saw it. A tree! A place to park my car in the shade! I thought, ya know, it's not so bad to just sit here for today and eat my lunch. I won't bother anyone, and nobody will certainly bother me.

It was nice. Pleasant. Quiet. Pretty. I felt so good when I went back to the office. It was such a nice break.

Today I went back. My spot was available again. I think it's going to become a regular thing. Is that creepy? I don't know. If a loved one was buried there, I'm sure it would be okay. So what's the big deal? I got a little crap for it back at the office. I probably didn't need to tell anyone, but I thought it was kind of funny, plus I probably like the attention.

Besides, it's better than sitting at my desk for an hour I don't need to be. I'm using this hour to listen or read to motivational/encouraging/inspiring material and eat my sandwich. It's time in my day to improve on myself and get motivated for the rest of the day.

I'm not going to stop going...as long as the residents of El Toro Memorial Park will have me. I have a feeling they won't have too much to say about it.

My Fiscal Year (FYE 6/3/08)

The title of this blog is pretty geeky and accountant-y, I'll be the first to admit. But hey, it's fitting.

I've decided that it's more appropriate for me, at this time in my life, to mark my year end not at December 31, but now.

Last Monday marked the one year anniversary of my time at Almich & Associates (I'm one of the associates...for now). It also marks the little over a year anniversary of me moving to California. It's no surprise the last year is pretty much a blur. I guess that's how life is once you finish school. Kinda sad now that I think about it.

A lot has happened to me in the last 12-13 months. It really started when I graduated from the University of Texas at San Antonio last May. After that my Dad accompanied me out West pulling a U-Haul (Go Mable!) through the desert to my sisters place in Las Vegas. I stopped there for a couple of weeks while I did my apartment search in Orange County. It was the first time I'd lived by myself. And I had no furniture to furnish my apartment (still don't!). I really look fondly upon that time, and it seems like just yesterday -- still so vivid in my mind. But anyways...

Looking back, I know I made the right decision in taking this job, and making this move. I accomplished more in the last fiscal year than I could have even imagined. I've traveled to places I've wanted to go my entire life (for free!), multiple times, with more to come. I've learned a ton. I've talked to CFOs, CEOs, and Controllers and been in the position of power. Weird. They probably think I'm some young punk or something, but I get the respect, baby! It's still kind of hard to be assertive with these types, though. I need to keep working on that.

Come to think of it, I could have probably met more goals this past year, but I think to have made it as far as I did is quite an accomplishment.

I moved across the country for the second time in two years, again, not knowing a soul. I'm very proud of myself for doing that and making a living and not getting homesick and scared. It's not always easy, but my family is a wonderful support, and I guess I'm just wired for it. It just confirms to me that I'm following the right path.

I survived the 2007 California Wildfires in my fiscal year.

Now, on to the fiscal year ending in June 2009.

I have even higher expectations for the next 12 months. It blows my mind thinking about where I could be this time next year. The biggest change will be the end of this month when I move to Orange, Calif. with my buddy Don. It's kind of weird; when I started at the firm I had an inclination that we would hit it off. At first I sort of joked that he needs to get rid of his roommate so I could move in. Well, I gave up on that notion after awhile, then after several months, Don brings it up, and now it's happening. I'm looking forward to it. I've never moved in with a friend before. I feel like I've been missing out.

Next up, I have all four parts of the CPA exam scheduled. I take the first part on July 12th and the final part before the end of 2008. I fully intend on having my CPA license before the end of the year. I can't believe that.

Some other things that I plan on doing are:

-put together a rough draft for a book (non-fiction)
-visit the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, Calif. (!!!)
-visit the Richard Nixon Presidential Library in Yorba Linda, Calif. (!!! too!)
-learn to really cook ('Top Chef' inspired me)
-visit Boston again
-make some friends outside of work

Well, now that doesn't seem like as much as I had in my head. All I know is that the next year is shaping up to be better than the last. I'm very much looking forward to it. It'd be nice, too, if I can make some time to meet one of those "California Girls" the Beach Boys hyped so much all of these years.

Thank you to everyone who supports my writing by reading this blog. It keeps me motivated to keep writing. Please keep visiting and feel free to comment or e-mail me. I will definitely appreciate it.

Celebrity Sighting!

Okay, be ready to be disappointed, though, because most of you won't even know who I spotted is.

Brian Posehn.

Who?

I know.

I was walking through the Oakland airport yesterday afternoon, when I saw this tall, balding, lanky beanpole with horn-rimmed glasses. There was no way this was a look-a-like. It was certainly Brian Posehn, comedian, actor, weirdo. I suppose he's best known for the VH1 "I Love The..." series and also "The Sarah Silverman Program" or that guy from "Just Shoot Me."

I did a double-take because, even though he's not real well known, I don't see celebs very often. Well, never, really. But it was definitely him. I mean, he's like 6'7". He looked like every other traveler who just stepped off of a plane, interrupted by their cat-nap. I suppose I could have approached him and said hello, but I don't really think that's cool. Plus, I don't really care about him too much.

So that's it. My celebrity sighting.

Operation: Surprise, Part 5

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Thursday started out with a long drive across eastern Iowa. I had a site visit at an old university in Clinton, IA which has since been sold by the nuns to a venture capitalist group. It was very enjoyable to visit because most of our clients are trade schools, not universities. This place had dorms, athletics, and a real college feel.

The ladies who gave me the tour were your typical small town people: born and raised in Clinton, went to the university in Clinton, and now work at the university in Clinton. They spent much of our tour reminiscing about old college memories. I think they really enjoyed themselves, I know I did. We ended up walking around the campus for over an hour.

After my stop in Clinton, I continued onto the western suburbs of Chicago to see my friends Chris and Erica. I haven’t seen them since Christmas, so it was really nice to visit. I got to Chicago around 5PM, so we had several hours to hang out before I had to continue on to Milwaukee for the night.

Chris took me to some out of the way brewery for some microbrew. It was in an office park of some sort. There was no signage of any kind. It seemed kind of shady…like invitation only or something. I wasn’t so sure about this place. But when we walked in, it was your normal bar & grille. I guess they survive on word of mouth only. It’s called Two Brothers, if you’re interested.

After that we met Chris’ wifey and went for dinner to Giordano’s or something. It’s one of two famous pizza joints in the Chicagoland area, I guess. It was really good.

By about 10:30PM, I needed to get back on the road for the two hour drive to Milwaukee. As soon as I got on the freeway there was construction all the way to the Wisconsin border. It was ridiculous. One of the worst drives I’ve ever been on. I nearly killed myself veering off to the right through construction cones and traffic to exit to the toll plaza that was poorly marked.

When I finally got to Milwaukee, I-94 was closed. A good way to end the night. I ended up having to take a detour, but thankfully my GPS didn’t run me in circles this time.

A Room With a View

I'm home for the weekend between back-to-back weeks in San Francisco. Yeah, I know, this past month I haven't really slept in my own bed much. Hopefully, after next week I'll be home for awhile. Nothing is on the schedule until the end of August, though I'm sure that will change. There's possibility of me going to San Antonio and Connecticut later this summer, yeah!

FYI: After next week, I'll have spent a total of seven weeks in San Francisco since last September. Geesh. That sure increases my odds of being in the "big one." I actually think of that quite often when I'm in compromising positions, such as the shower or on the toilet. What if there's a quake and I get caught with my pants down...literally? I guess if that's the way I'm gonna go there's no stopping it.

These two weeks aren't going to be so bad. We're being put up in the nicest hotel I think I've stayed in yet. The view is amazing. Right in the Financial District overlooking Chinatown, Coit Tower, and the Bay. I cannot and will not complain about that.

For you loyal blog readers, I only have a couple of more parts to post from the "Operation: Surprise" series, then it's on to posts from my Boston/NYC trip two weeks ago. I know, you can hardly wait. I'd like to post pictures here and there in between posts, to mix things up, but I still have tons to go through and it's kind of time consuming, so we'll see.

I have my first part of the CPA exam scheduled for July 12th. I'm studying today. I'm finally starting to get stressed about it. It's going to be more difficult than I thought. It's super hard to make time to study for it, too, with all the traveling I do. But whatever, no excuses. Knowing that by this time next year I could be a licensed CPA is motivation enough.

The view from my room as I walked in Tuesday morning. That's Coit Tower on the top left, and of course the Bay on the other side.



Overlooking Chinatown from the conference room at our client.



Such a comfortable bed.



Scoma's. Among the best seafood on the West Coast (so I've heard).



The view from Scoma's on the Wharf.



The view from my hotel room at night.

I'm Moving...

...for the third time this year.

That's right. I said a couple of weeks ago I was going to have an announcement. Well, that's it. I've been waiting for an opportunity to move in with my friend Don, who also is my boss (!!!), well, sort of. I mean he can tell me what to do, anyways... And the opportunity finally came up.

I've been waiting a long time to be able to be roomies with a good friend; I've never had the chance. His roommate since college moved out this past weekend, and I'm moving in the end of June.

Don already has the joint cleaned up, bought a new fridge, a new sofa set, new silverware, cleared room for me in the cupboards, is going to paint the bathroom and steam the carpets. This is sounding good already.

I broke the news to my current landlords last night that I'm leaving. I think I'll miss living with them, in a way. I won't miss the hustle and bustle of living with a family of five, but I really enjoy spending time with the adults, and I think the feeling is mutual. I wouldn't trade the experience for anything, though. What were my sisters friends have now become mine, and it's good to have "family" closer than Minnesota if I ever need anything.

So there you have it. My rent is only going up by a nominal rate, I'll be about 10 miles further from work, but I'll be closer to Disneyland! Angel Stadium is going to be less than two miles away, I'll also have two malls within a five minutes drive. I think it's going to be good. My address will be on a street named after a fruit, in the city of Orange, in the county of Orange. How do you like that?

Anyways, I just got back from spending a week in Boston, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New York, and New Jersey and now I'm in San Francisco (again) for two weeks. Ayyy. But whoa, this hotel we're put up in is the nicest I think I've ever stayed in. I have a view of Coit Tower as well as the Bay...it's sick. And this bed is amazing with some 300 or something thread count sheets. I could get used to this. I can't wait to go to bed. With this trip I've also finally earned a free flight on Southwest, and I have another one coming on Delta in the next month or so. There are definitely perks to traveling as much as I do.

I have to remember not to take it for granted.

Operation: Surprise, Part 4

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Today was a day of perks. Well, if perks are good-looking women. Why not?

I started the morning off with another case of GPS directions gone bad. The school I was trying to visit apparently moved. I later found out that the street it’s now on is named after the landlord who owns the building I was visiting. And it’s all brand new. Google maps couldn’t even get it right. It brought me to the other side of town. Couldn’t it have just said, “Sorry, I got nothin’” instead of guessing? Bah.

The director of financial aid is who I usually meet with when I’m visiting these schools, but she was new and wasn’t available. That usually means the campus director will meet with me. The campus director in small town Illinois = hottie. Yes, it’s true. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t flirt with her a little. It kind of weirded me out though because she’s gotta be in her 30s and last I checked that was way old. Now that I’m 26 maybe my acceptable age range has expanded. I may have to get used to that.

As a side, I bet half of the people I’ve met this week have said one or both of the following things:

“When I heard the auditor was coming, I was really nervous. How did I do?” and/or,
“You don’t look like an auditor.”

The latter, I take as a compliment.

It is kind of empowering (?) when I walk into these places and check in with the receptionist. “Yeah, I’m here to see so and so big-wig.”

“Who’s your advisor?”

“No. I’m the auditor.”

As I was driving the four hours to my next stop in Des Moines, Iowa, I encountered my most major GPS problem yet. Somehow my position on the map was in the middle of the forest and not on any roads. It couldn’t recalculate my route because it didn’t know what road I was on. I already had a tight schedule to keep and I didn’t really have time to be messing with wrong directions. I ended up back tracking a bit back to a town I just passed so I could ask for directions.

Through it all, I’ve learned that I will always ALWAYS have a map with me at all times. You just can’t replace the ability to pull that thing out when all else fails. It’s always reliable. It also really bugs me that when I’m not using a map, I have no sense of where I am in the city. Sure, it gets me to where I need to go, but I couldn’t tell you at all what parts of St. Louis I was in on Tuesday. No good.

Maps are my friend.

I finally arrived in Des Moines. The women I talked on the phone with on Tuesday to confirm my appointment for Wednesday sounded pretty cute. This is usually hit-and-miss though as lots of people sound good-looking (see: all radio DJs).

So she sounded cute and her name was one of those names that I associate with attractive girls. I actually found myself getting a little nervous to meet this woman when I knew nothing about her. Kind of odd.

I waited in the lobby for _____ and, though she wasn’t quite was I was expecting, she definitely was cute and definitely closer to my age than the last woman I mentioned. I sort of felt a connection with her after our 20 minutes together, but you know, it’s hard to tell. It may have just been me, as usual. And it’s not like anything can come of it, so I dismissed that thought as soon as I thought it. Okay, enough of that.

After my appointment, I stopped to get something to eat on my way to the Iowa State Capitol building downtown. I was the first car at the red light and I was unwrapping my sandwich. The light turned green. I stepped on the gas. Not two seconds later I see some dude in my right side mirror up in arms looking like he’s yelling at me. I guess I almost ran him over? Dude, he must have started walking through the intersection way later than he was supposed to. I know, I still should have seen him and he still has the right of way, but that’s bull. So yes, I’m lucky I didn’t take this guy out and spend the night in jail. Idiot. It probably wasn’t as close as it looked. I hope.

I arrived at the Iowa State Capitol and planned on getting a tour while I was there. The security guard told me that only on the guided tours can you go up in the dome area. Come to find out, the next and last tour of the day is with a bunch of 4th graders. No thank you. Self-guided tour, here I come.

I was only about 10 minutes in when I got a call from the office. An audit I’ve been a part of is trying to be wrapped up this week while I’m gone and apparently I didn’t finish all of my work. In a semi-panic, I left the capitol so I could get to my hotel in case the partner called and I needed my computer. Oh bother. I suppose I am still on the clock even though my work for the day is done.

To cap off the day, I was checking in at the Radisson when the front desk tell me they’ve moved my room because of overbooking. Okay, great. But they bumped me up to the room with the hot tub, fireplace, and two plasma flatscreens. Oh yeah!! Hot tubbin’ it on a Wednesday afternoon. Can’t beat it.

I ended the day by going to a movie I’d already seen but loved so much that I thought “why not end a great day with a great movie?” and I was really craving movie theatre popping corn. After the movie, I hot tubbed it again. Ooooh.

Photos: St. Louis Arch

I went a little nuts with pictures when I visited the Arch in St. Louis a few weeks ago. I've learned that only a handful actually turn out how I want so I just end up taking 30 at a time or something. Here are my favorites:

This was taken from behind the Arch on the Mississippi River. It's a little high this time of year.

New Jersey (A Rant)

My impression of New Jersey is probably the same as many of the rest of yours...it sucks. Nobody ever seems to have good things to say about Jersey. Nobody ever visits Jersey (I don't think) and does anybody really know why it's called the "Garden State"? I mean, it was green and seemingly garden-y in the movie of the same name, but I didn't see an abundance ot vegetables growing along the road or anything.

Let me bring you up to speed here. The reason I'm in New Jersey is for work. Of course it's for work. When I went to AAA to get some planning materials, I was surprised they even had a Tour Book for New Jersey. It's paired with Pennsylvania thankfully, so it has some saving grace. I thought to myself, they must put the new guys at AAA on New Jersey. When you're in your first year at the company updating and editing the Tour Books, it must take a lot to screw up a state no one probably visits.

But I digress... (this saying is starting to become overused, by the way). On to the rant.

I really was going to give New Jersey a clean slate and clear my preconceived ideas about what to expect. Just like any other state I visit.

I had two appointments today. One in Livingston and one in Iselin. For those of you not familiar with New Jersey, both places are near Newark which is near Manhattan which is probably considered part of the greater New York City Metropolitan area, but I can't be certain.

Okay, so I got both of my appointments taken care of, but that's not what this blog is about. This blog is about why I've decided to join the club of people who don't care for the Garden State.

Reason #1: Tollroads

We left Manhattan this morning (future blogs will discuss this) and had to drive through the Lincoln Tunnel to the New Jersey Turnpike. I love turnpikes! Well, I don't really know what makes a turnpike a turnpike, but it seems to involve tolls in my experience. So no, I guess I don't like turnpikes. I like the option to use tolls like I have in LA. The toll roads are available, and when you want to use them, are often free of a lot of traffic. In NJ, you must use them, and you must pay to use them. Thanks for the option!

Reason #2: Parkways

According to Wikipedia, the authority on everything for the Gen-Y-ers, a parkway is defined as "A broad landscaped thoroughfare; especially : one from which trucks and other heavy vehicles are excluded." This sounds pretty straight-forward. I guess New Jersey didn't get the memo on parkways. I first realized their definition, when I tried to make a left turn off of Hwy 1, aka something something Parkway. No left turns. I thought I'd try the next light. No left turns. And the next light, no left turns. This happened to me on multiple occasions today. Then I would see a sign on my right that says "exit here for all turns." Apparently, you have to exit on the right to turn left. Sure enough, it's true. It's quite the fustercluck. And yes, it's retarded.

I spent so much time and gas taking detours and rerouting all over the place because of these stupid parkways that it worked me into probably the most anger I've had in a long, long time.

To give an example of how these things work, if you want to go to a restaurant on the left side of the road, you have to exit on the on the right side sometime before or after it, then make a left turn to get to the stoplight that crosses the intersection of the parkway. There is no bridge over it the road or anything, there is a stoplight. So why not just add a left turn lane? I wish I could describe and/or show the best/worst example of how messed up this is. I saw it today at 5:30. It was the stupidst thing I've ever seen.

If I sound like I'm repeating myself, it's because I need to vent.

I hate parkways. They don't make sense to me. They seem to defeat the very purpose they are trying to achieve.

Reason #3: Full Service Gas Stations

Yes, that's right, we've stepped back in time here in NJ. I go to the first gas station to fill-er-up. I see a little booth next to some of the pumps and as I pull up, a guy starts to walk out. I glance at the sign out front, "Full Service." I take off. I decide to go to another gas station. Pull in. Same thing.

"This is weird," I think to myself. I decided to try one more, same thing. I passed another couple. Same. At this point I'm thinking someone is playing a joke on me. I don't need or want someone to pump my gas. I finally determine that it must be the law in NJ that you cannot pump your own gas.

I also decide that there is no way I'm tipping someone to gas me up. I figured no one else would either, being gas is the price it is. Come to find out, again via Wikipedia, it is in fact law in NJ that there is no self-service. That's right. You cannot buy gasoline in New Jersey and fill it up yourself. What is this, the 1940s? I thought I was Marty McFly in 1955 on "Back to the Future."

Here are some hilarious (to me) quote I found in a newsstory from 2006 that I don't feel like citing:

"I'm not against a lot of things, but I don't want to pump my own gas. It's part of the Jersey identity. It's our thing," said Rose Maurice, who operates a tourism office at a turnpike rest stop.

Then there's the issue of safety. About 8.7 million residents live in the state and many of them, including more than one million senior citizens, have little experience in pumping gas. Assemblyman Francis L. Bodine (R) said this is one reason he's opposed to the idea. Plus, "If I'm dressed up, I don’t want to get out and smell like a gas pump," said Bodine.

Eight hours of training is required of gas station attendants, Dressler said. Among their responsibilities are knowing which type of containers cannot store gasoline, such as glass. "It's a dangerous product and they are trained in the correct procedures," he said.

Are you kidding me?

So that's it. By the time all this was over I wanted to punch something and scream really loudly. I just ended up having a case of some road rage as well as taking my anger out on the lady at Dunkin Donuts. I want the Berry Iced Coffee. Do I want sugar and cream in that? I don't know. I want it how it looks in the picture. Blah blah, can't understand your accent blah blah. Who asks is they want cream and sugar in their iced coffee? Starbucks and the Coffee Bean never ask me that.

Okay, that's the end of my rant. New Jersey sucks a big fatty.

Operation: Surprise, Part 3

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Today was a busy day. I had four schools to visit in the St. Louis area and then had to drive 2+ hours to Quincy, Illinois.

The two things I learned were this:

1) Don’t rely 100% on GPS navigation and,
2) I should have been a chef.

I bought a portable GPS device with precisely this trip in mind. It’s helped immensely… for the most part. I had a 1:30 appointment for which I arrived at 12:55 for. Perfect, I had time to go get some lunch first. My GPS tells me that a Chik-fil-a is close. Great! Well, 30 minutes later and not so great. It put me in some low-income neighborhood at someone’s house. How did I know this was incorrect? I thought GPS was supposed to be so great? Well, not always. -1 for GPS.

As I was on my way to the next site, I encountered a freeway that was closed. Completely. The detour didn’t really help me as I didn’t bring a map and didn’t really know where it was taking me. As I missed my exit on to the freeway, my GPS started freaking. It re-routed and sent me in a new direction. Less than five minutes later I was told to merge on the freeway that I had just passed due to closure the first time! So I realized I was just going to be going in circles unless I told the GPS to “avoid highways.” Okay, then it worked. Geesh.

That brought me to a culinary school, which brings me to the second thing I leaned on today.

I walked in and was greeted almost immediately with kitchen(s). Well, not completely, but the kitchens/classrooms were all completely glass on the hallway side. As the campus director walked me around explaining things to me, I could see in all of the kitchens and observe what was happening. It just looked like such a fun place to go to school. They cook and bake all day and get to taste each others food. Seeing this school coupled with my love of “Top Chef” on Bravo really makes me want to learn how to cook. As a side, I’ve been out of the office so much this year that I’ve only spent around $250 on groceries since the end of January. Whoa.

The best part of the culinary school? The the chef of the “healthy eating” class had just made some fresh berry smoothies and I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Mmm.

In between my third and fourth appointments of the day, I had a little bit of time to kill. I was planning on going to the Transportation Museum, but one of the clients I talked to convinced me to go to nearby St. Charles to see the original state capitol (before Jefferson City) and to also see where Lewis and Clark set off on their expedition to the Pacific.

Yes, it was as boring as it sounds. Did I enjoy myself though? Of course.

St. Charles, Missouri is a small little town situated on the Missouri River. The main street is just a block off of the riverfront park and it definitely has maintained the old timey feel and is completely made of brick. It was pretty rough and uneven, but a site to see, nonetheless. It kind of reminded me of parts of the 405 in Orange County. I make a joke.

I parked by the old train depot and walked down to the river just in time to see one of those little boats like Mickey Mouse captained in the very first cartoon Walt Disney put out. I’m sure you’ve seen it.

I also drove down a gravel road a ways before I realized it wasn’t a road and was more like a path…for pedestrians. Oops.

I headed over to the Lewis and Clark museum. Completely lame. I paid $2.50 to see some diorama and a bunch of taxidermy of local wildlife. But hey, when am I going to get the chance to do that again?

Late afternoon I stopped in Hannibal, Missouri, home of Mark Twain (aka Sam Clemens) and the setting of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. I wasn’t there in time to tour Twain’s boyhood home or see inside Becky Thatcher’s place, but I think I still saw enough. I don’t think I’ve ever read Tom Sawyer so the whole thing didn’t mean a whole lot to me, but I might some day.

I’ve been noticing that the Mississippi River is high in a lot of places this week and Hannibal was no exception. There was some sort of levee in place to stop the rising river from spilling into town. Interestingly enough, water was leaking through the levee I looked at, and it was pretty eerie. As I walked up the embankment, I could see that the river had flooded the riverfront park and further inland, I could make out the top of the railroad tracks peeking through the water. The railroad crossing arms were down, lights were flashing, alarm was ringing, and it didn’t stop. The whole scene was very peculiar.

Beantown

Tomorrow morning at 6:45AM, I'm departing for the east coast. Or, as they say out here, "back east." That's right, y'all, I'm going to Boston.

This will be my third time back east in the last year. My job brought me to Connecticut and New York City this past winter. My job is bringing me that way again. I don't have to work until Tuesday, so I've decided to fly up tomorrow instead of Monday and have a couple of days to sightsee. Being that I've never been to Boston, I'm pretty stoked. Everyone I talk to that's been there says it's wonderful.

The best part is, my Mom is coming with me.

It's for work, but I don't have to be working all day. I really just have 3-4 fifteen minute appointments throughout the day, Tues-Thurs. My travels will bring us throughout Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New York and New Jersey. I can't wait.

I'm going to do my best to keep a travelogue while I'm there. It probably won't get posted to the blog until later. I mean, I still have several more installments in the "Operation: Surprise" series. I liked that title at first, by the way, but now I wish I had gone with something else.

Between that trip and this one, and all the pictures I'll have taken, I should have fresh content on the blog for weeks to come.

Also, I'm going to have a big announcement by the end of this month. It won't affect you in any way. Just me. And no, I'm not changing jobs, winning the lottery, or expecting. I guess it's not really that big of an announcement, either. Just an announcement.

Stay tuned.

New Car? Chew on This...

I just returned from the auto shop. Remember a few posts back when I talked about a coolant problem with Mable? Turns out the computer shorted and wasn't running the fans properly. That led to my radiator pretty much being trashed. I ended up replacing the radiator, hoses, thermostat, and computer to the tune of $1742. How much is labor per hour in Minnesota? Anyone? It's up to $98/hr. here. Silly.

I just ran the numbers on my car since I took it over in 2003. I only have receipts from when I moved to TX, but I'm pretty sure I didn't dump anything major into it before I moved to TX.

So, excluding normal wear and tear items, since these would still be incurred on a new car, this is the run down of my expenses on the car...

April 2006, Alternator, $351
May, 2007, A/C System, $873
May 2008. Cooling System, $1742
Total: $2966

Cost per month since 2003 ($2966 / about 47 months): $63
Cost per month since 2006 ($2966 / 24 mos): $124
Cost per month in since last repair ($1742 / 12 mos): $145

Any way you run the numbers, this car has been doing well. I think I made the right decision in fixing it again. As long as my 12 month average stays below the amount of an average car payment, I am going to keep driving it. That $145 would have to get to nearly $300 and that's not including insurance on a new car (I pay $29/mo right now). I have quite a bit of room to wiggle. I also am going to sock away $100 a month in a car repair fund / new car fund just so I can be prepared.

I'm such an accountant.

Operation: Surprise, Budweiser Tour Photos

The bottling plant. No pictures inside!



They only keep a few here at a time...



Thomas, Duke, and Mark






See the rest of the set here...