They say that the third times the charm. I haven't observed this enough in my own life to attest to the truthiness of this old adage. I do know, however, that it came true for me yesterday. At the California Department of Motor Vehicles.
Most people put off the DMV-type governmental affairs until they are court-mandated. One of these would be getting a new driver's license to refelct your change of address. The law in California says that you must do it within 10 days of moving to the state. Well, in attempt one of three, I obeyed that law.
I made an appointment (if your state's DMV doesn't do this yet, shame on them) on the website. I was all set. Problem was, my printer screwed up and wouldn't print my confirmation. No confirmation, no appointment. I didn't realize this, of course, until my back was turned to the DMV, and I was walking away.
Two months later, I finally got an appointment for a Saturday morning, so I didn't have to cut out of work. This time, I had my printed confirmation form. I was good to go. There was a line out the door, wrapping around the building. I went to the end, "do you have an appointment?" "No." I went inside. I went more toward the front of the line. "Do y'all have appointments?" "No, just stand next to us, you're next." Confusion overcame me.
Apparently, when you make an appoinment at the DMV, you basically get a free pass to the cardinal sin of every elementary school kid in the universe: "cutsies."
Yes, you get to cut in line. Right to the front. Pass GO, collect $200. Or in this case, don't waste 200 minutes.
I was next. I stepped up to the counter. Pulled out my social security card and Texas driver's license. "Birth certificate or passport." "Huh?" "Birth certificate or passport only, please." "Oh.....okay, see you next time."
It's useless to argue or raise a stink.
0 for 2.
Another month later, I was able to make another appointment. This time, on a Friday morning. I had to work extra all week, so I didn't have to use my vacation time. I had Form DL-44 pre-filled out. I had my birth certificate, social security card, driver's license, personal check for $27, and a determination I haven't felt since the weirdo at Barnes & Noble was trying to convince me "Injuns" are a poo stain on society's historical underwear. (The determination being, I wasn't going to let him spout this nonsense without a rebuttle). Okay, moving on.
The line was again, out the door. I totally cutsied to the front. Then another guy joined me. I asked him what time his appointment was for, and it was 5 minutes before mine, although both of us were early. I said he should go in front of me then. He had a foreign accent. I envisioned him driving an MG. One that he had shipped over here from England when he moved.
Then some woman comes out of the loser, non-appointment line and says, "I've had an appointment this whole time, I didn't know I could just come to the front." To which I reply, "Yeah, I nearly made that mistake my first two times here. They really need to have an instructional video for us appointmentmakers."
She also had a foreign accent.
So I got a number. My number was called in less than 5 minutes. I did my business. Passed the vision test. Got sent to another window. Stood in line for 10 minutes. Got my picture and thumbprint taken. Took a 36 question exam. My pencil didn't have an eraser! Talk about pressure. I could only get 6 wrong to pass. Oh great. I did really well on the practice exams, but the actual one had some tricky questions. Like, what is the lowet BAC that will get you busted. Like I give a crap. I put the lowest number. Wrong.
The question that freaked me out the most was the one Les Anderson (Corey Haim) failed his DMV test on in the critically-acclaimed License to Drive. If the roadway is wet and your car starts to skid, you should:
a) Slow down by shifting to a lower gear
b) Slow down by pumping the brakes quickly and firmly or,
c) Slowly ease your foot off the gas pedal
The scene from the movie replayed in my mind. The words "YOU FAILED" on Les' computer monitor were flashing on my internal computer monitor. It was weird. Thankfully, I knew the answer tho. It's "c."
The DMV is such a melting pot. Regardless of your who you are, what you do, or how much money you make, you have to go to the DMV at some point in your life. Multiple times. Well, unless you don't drive. But that's un-American. Definitely un-Californian. I'm just saying that the guy who cleans up behind the horses on the parade route, and the guy who just donated $66 million to his alma mater when he dies, have to go to the DMV. I should just start camping out at the DMV near Hollywood and chronicle my celebrity sightings. Who's with me?
So I got my license. I'm legally a California resident. Now I can apply with the California State Board of Accountancy and schedule my first CPA Exam. I can also complain about Governator Shwarzenegger's long delay in signing the new state budget. Come on, man, you're the Kindergarten Cop/Predator guy/Terminator and you can't even get the state budget out on time!!
DMV ME
Go Get Me That!
I'm getting to a point where I know enough about a little to be able to accomplish some tasks on the job without asking what I need to do. One thing I do know is that when I ask a client for something, they are supposed to get it for me.
On Thursday, I asked a client to pull something for me. She points across the room and says, "they're in those filing cabinets up against the wall." I think for a second, "can she say that to me? Isn't she supposed to go get that?"
Well, yeah, she is. Not me. I told her, "I don't have time to be pulling files, you're going to have to get them. Thanks." I actually said it more tactfully, but that was the essence of it. It's funny how some of these people act so inconvenienced when we're working the audit, but ya know, we're just making sure the integirty of your financial statements are good so that you can keep your business going. No big deal.
Anyways, my week in Phoenix whizzed by. It was 112-114 every day. Not too bad. Really. I got home Friday at 6, drove home from the airport, swapped out some clean clothes, and headed to Vegas for the weekend. It was me niece Makenzie's second birthday, so it was fun to be a part of that.
The best part? Marc isn't taking the job in Austin, TX, so they will be staying in Vegas for awhile! I won't be spending Thanksgiving alone!!
Shiner Hefeweizen for $1.59?!
Yeah, it's true. My favorite beer, which I haven't seen in California since I moved here (it's brewed in Shiner, TX), happened to show up at Ralphs (supermarket) this eve. Only two six packs. Haphazardly placed. Almost like they were sent them accidentally, and they had nowhere else to put them. I didn't know how much it was going to cost, but it didn't matter.
Well, I got home, looked at my receipt, and it only cost me $1.59 for a six pack! That's pretty absurd. The skunkiest, nastiest beer isn't even that cheap. Obviously, it was an error. I'm half tempted to go back to the store and ask them if I was charged the wrong price. I just may, you know, to "pay it forward." It's always fun to see the reactions one gets when s/he complains about being undercharged for goods.
I've been craving beer and pizza since Wednesday, by the way. And I've been eating like poo all week. Frozen dinners, hot dogs, rice, and beans. Why? Because I'm traveling next week and don't want to go grocery shopping. So, I eat like crap at home, but the next 4 out of 5 weeks (or 80%), I'll be on the road. That means the client is being expensed for every calorie I consume. Very nice!!! Those who have been working for Almich for awhile complain about eating out all the time. Well, I'm not. And I don't think I will for quite some time. If only because I'm eating for free. It kinda sucks that I'm paying $1331 for rent when I won't be here for the next month, basically. Oh well.
We're not even in busy season yet. I guess this will be a sneak preview as to what it'll be like this winter. Ooooh. Traveling 3 to 4 weeks of every month for 4-5 months. Yikes. Good thing I got a Delta SkyMiles card.
I'm thinking of going to Starbucks this weekend with my mactop and writing something. A short story perhaps? I'm not sure. I know I have something in me. It's a goal of mine to actually write something good some day. I have to start somewhere. Stephen King and others have books out about how to be a writer. I need to read those. I had this good idea for a novel once. It came to me in a dream. All I remember is that it was a good idea. No details.
The thing that I've heard over and over is that when you write your first novel, throw it away. It won't be any good. How frustrating.
My pizza is done. I'm watching Jim Carrey's The Number 23. It's half over. And it sucks. It's awful. I'm not going to finish it. Time for Hot Fuzz.
Did anyone ever watch Factory Girl? How was it?
School Is Back in Session
Yeah, that's right. I started studying for the CPA Exam today. Well, one part of it anyway. I haven't registered with the state accountancy board yet, or gotten my driver's license changed, but I figured I might as well start the studying.
I'm going to take the hardest part first: Regulation. It's mainly about business law and taxation. I figure, once that one's out of the way, I'll be more confident going into the rest. Plus, you only have 18 months to pass the other three, once you've passed your first one.
Hopefully I can take one in the October-November window, but that's to hoping all the paperwork is in and completed by then. It takes a long time, I guess. Government. You know.
I decided against doing the whole CD-ROM video lecture thing that Becker puts out. It's between $1500-$2500, and there's no way I have that kind of money. And I'm not financing it. If I just study from these books, I'll only spend around $200. I can handle that.
It's suggested to spend around 68 hours studying for Regulation...I'll probably end up doing more than that, just because I'm starting early.
Let's get this party started!
Oh, and the Bourne Ultimatum was freakin awesome.
Bridges
My Minnesota peeps and all you CNN addicts already know this, so I'll save the explanation. The Interstate 35 bridge in Minneapolis that crosses the Mississippi collapsed this eve. Sucks.
But it got me to thinking.
I thought I was supposed to be the one who was on, under or between bridges when they collapsed (cause of earthquakes). I was supposed to fear that when I moved to California. It just goes to show, you're not safe anywhere. To not live somewhere or do something because you're afraid of what might happen, could still happen to you right where you are (cliche?). I mean, no tsunamis are going to hit Minnesota anytime soon, so let's be realistic. But who would have thought a freakin' bridge would randomly collapse?
It'll be interesting to see what unfolds in days ahead. It'll be interesting to see how this will affect traffic. You know it's going to take YEARS to rebuild that sucker? YIkes. And it's not like they can work year round like they can in the south and west.
I'm sort of wondering if this will be the banner headline in the O.C. Register tomorrow, or if it will be some bogus local thing about how some lady's house is being forclosed on in Aliso Viejo because her housing association is suing her for parking her handicapped van in the driveway and causing an eyesore to the neighborhood (true story).
So for all you folks in MN who know someone who was involved in today's London Minneapolis bridge falling down, yuck.
