Operation: Surprise, Budweiser Tour Photos

The bottling plant. No pictures inside!



They only keep a few here at a time...



Thomas, Duke, and Mark






See the rest of the set here...

Operation: Surprise, Part 2 (The Beginning)

Monday, May 5, 2008, St. Louis, MO

I’m lucky enough to be traveling around the Midwest on site visits again. You may recall me doing this last fall in TN, KY, MO and KS. Good times. Well, turns out they need me for a couple more weeks’ worth of visits this month, also.

I started this morning at 6:45AM flying from Orange County to St. Louis, Missouri. Since my first appointment isn’t until tomorrow, I had the rest of the day to do some sightseeing. Most people who are sent out on these trips spend their evenings in the hotel watching tv. Me? I see it as a chance to see things I may have never went to see on my own and/or may never get the chance to see again.

Since I arrived in St. Louis at 2PM, I had to find a couple of things to do to fill the afternoon. St. Louis = Anheuser-Busch = Budweiser = tour of the plant = free beer!

I penciled the tour in for 3PM, well, after waiting 25 minutes for my luggage and 30 minutes for my rental car, I was running behind schedule. Side note: I reserved a mid-size sedan but was offered an upgrade to a Dodge Caravan since they were out of mid-sized. No. I said no. I’m not tooling around for 1000 miles in a minivan. She ended up getting me a Suzuki XL-7 SUV, one I’ve had before. Not bad. Oh, and she’s all, it’s going to be $0.40 a mile. WHAT? No. I need unlimited. I’m returning the car in MINNEAPOLIS!! That will cost way too much. Well, in the end it’s still going to cost almost $600 for the week. Sick.

Anyways, after the whole rental car rigmarole, I felt like Steve Martin in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, although I didn’t cuss out the Avis lady. For those of you in the know, Steve Martin’s character in said movie was at the airport in St. Louis also (I think?). So anyways…

I arrived at the Anheuser-Busch plant to find free parking. Yes! I walked in and the man-ceptionist said the next tour was in five minutes and handed me a card. I was waiting for him to tell me how much the tour was…but he didn’t. Free tour!!

The tour was pretty awesome. The whole complex sort of reminded me of Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory in English-speaking Germany (you saw the movie…it was obviously in Germany, with no accents. Or maybe it was London? Cause wasn’t Augustus from Germany? Someone needs to confirm this…) All of the buildings were pretty old and similar looking. I was waiting for an Ooompa Loompa to pass by at any moment riding a Clydesdale, hand me a beer and say, “This Bud’s for you.” But, as you can imagine, that didn’t happen.

Some fun facts from the tour are this: they have all these huuuuge monster kegs, but not really kegs, that the beer sits in to do the proprietary “Beechwood Aged” thing. Well, they have 30 some of these things and each one holds the equivalent of 200,000 six-packs. Turns out, you’d have to drink one beer every hour of every day for 127 some years to finish that tank off. Whoa. They wouldn’t let us take pictures in there. Some secret. Did they think I was going to hand them over to Slugworth (see: Willy Wonka)?

I think the whole bottling plant was the most interesting part. They have this machine that fills 1300 bottles per second. I think he said per second. Per minute’s not as impressive. Well, yes it is. So either way, quick. No pictures in there either.

This plant bottles enough beer per day that if you lined them up end-to-end they would stretch from NYC to Miami. I heard so many more fun facts today, but I can’t remember anymore. All of them were impressive.

Obviously, the best part of the tour was the end. The “Hospitality Room.” Each person gets not one, but two free 12 oz. samples. Oh, wow! Freshest Budweiser ever!

The next thing on my list was to visit the Gateway Arch, or, more commonly known as the Arch. And no, not the McDonald’s one. Der. I’ve been to the Arch before when I was 12 or 13 or something, but I don’t remember it much, and I didn’t have a digital camera then, so I had to go back. Unfortunately, I missed the last elevator to the top. Sucks. I’d still like to do that some day. I hear it’s all claustrophobic-y but offers great views.

To end the evening, I headed over to Schlafly Brewery, the only (I think) other brewery in St. Louis. It’s pretty small time but it’s supposed to be good. There weren’t a whole lot of people at the bar, they were mostly in the dining room and outside on the patio. I sort of felt out of place when all of the guys coming and going from the bar knew the barkeep on a first-name basis and vice versa. I ordered my first beer and planned on heading out after that. It was kind of awkward. Well, then things started to be okay for some reason and I decided to just stay and order some food. I got this bison stew and a buffalo burger. Each were awful. The stew was just, something, and the burger was too well done and was falling apart. Nasty.

Well, then people started talking to me. It was actually kind of fun talking to the locals. I decided to try another beer. Then the guy next to me left, but apparently the barkeep overheard us talking and then proceeds to say to me, “so you’re from California? I lived in North Hollywood for five years…” That led to loads of convo. Which led to me finding out he doesn’t even drink, but only serves. Which leads to him saying how amazing the beer is they brew there at Schlafly (which he only tastes). Which leads to him giving me a sample of 4 more beers (on the house!). Which leads to be feeling obligated to drinking them (even the nasty dark stout which I knew would taste like fireplace and definitely did). Which led to me feeling kind of nasty. After all the conversation apparently this guy was my new buddy. He didn’t charge me for the second beer I ordered, he gave me a growler to go at the “regulars price” and each of the three times he thought I was leaving, he shook my hand and told me how nice it was to meet me and wished me safe travels. Nice guy. For some reason we bonded over a short period of time. I felt like Cliff to his Woody (see: Cheers).

Operation: Surprise, Part 1 (The End)

You may have noticed that I haven't blogged for awhile. Or maybe you didn't. Well, have no fear, I've secretly been blogging all week but I haven't been able to post it. Why? Because it would have compromised my mission.

I was in the Midwest all week for work, with the end game of ending up in Minnesota on Friday evening to surprise my Mom for Mother's Day.

During the week, however, I was working. I started in St. Louis then went to Quincy, IL, Des Moines, IA, Clinton, IA, Chicago and Milwaukee. It was a good week. I worked, I played, I enjoyed local brews.

I'm going to start by showing you the end of the week, then as the days go by and I have some time to edit down what I've written (it's long) I will post more.

So here we go. My parents were at a party last night so I was able to hang out with my sisters and their families until they got home. My brother-in-law, Marc, lured them downstairs where I was lounging on the couch.

Roll it!

Under Pressure

I made a promise to myself awhile back that when I moved to California I wouldn't let all the fancy cars and the remarks of others convince me to dump Mable and buy something newer and nicer. I made a promise to myself that I would keep my car until it's not worth fixing. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't have another $300 car payment.

Folks, this past week, I was very close to breaking that promise. I was pretty convinced that I wanted to throw caution to the wind and go buy a fun in the sun type of vehicle -- something that I could really enjoy this summer. Also, something that would be under warranty and not stick me with any outrageous repair bills.

I was planning on test driving a 2008 Jeep Wrangler Rubicon/Sahara/X this weekend. I was planning on, if the dealer would give me the price I wanted, signing a lease for that thing before the end of the month.

Well, I've been stopped in my tracks. A voice of reason by the name of Don reminded me of my promises. He made me realize that there's no need to replace Mable right now. Sure, her coolant tank was bone dry yesterday, by no fault of her own, and sure, her tires don't hold air like they should, and yeah, the muffler is starting to act up a little, and yes, when it's 100 degrees out the a/c has a hard time keeping up, but these are all minor things.

After I had her coolant topped off and washed her clean yesterday, it's like driving a car that just had the middle-aged woman equivalent of getting a Botox injection. She's not hesitating off the line, she's shifting from first to second better and just seems to be running smoother. All because of the coolant. Oops.

Anyways, I'm a little over 6,000 miles away from the 300,000 mile mark, and I fully intend on making it. At this point, the only foreseeable thing I'll need is some brake work, but that's no big deal.

It's tough at times to not get excited about the idea of a new car. I was entertaining choosing among the following cars this week:

Jeep Wrangler
Mini Cooper
Honda Civic
Chevy Malibu
Volkswagen Jetta and a
Nissan Altima

The latter two, I was informed, are chick cars that I wouldn't live down.

I kept thinking how awesome it would be to tool around SoCal with the top down on a Jeep. So much more fun to drive than a convertible, too. But alas, Jeeps are not made to be an every day drive on the freeway type of vehicle. It's noisy as heck in the cabin, overpriced, and unreliable. Oh, and 15 MPG. So what gives? I would lease it for two years, have some fun with it, and get a sensible family car just in time to settle down, accepting the fact that I won't have another fun car until my mid-life crisis.

The more I thought about it, I was intended on buying a car not for myself, but for everyone else. Everyone who says I have all this disposable income and owe it to myself to get a nice car. Well, to those people, you're in debt. You have your nice cars and your $300-400 payment every month, I'll take $0 per month and put that money towards paying off that Visa so that one day, all the credit cards payments I'm making will be non-existent and that $300 car payment will be cake.

Okay, I'm over it.

Los Angeles, I Hardly Know Ye

As I approach a year living in Southern California, I still haven't completely come to grips with the fact that I live in Southern California. I'm trying to think back to when I really felt like I lived in Texas. Maybe I never did. I don't know what it is I was expecting.

It takes me back to my time in Texas, the first day of fall semester. I was going to be a PR major and get my degree as quick as I could. Well, then I went to my first class, which was immediately followed by going to my advisor and switching majors. That, and the reality that I was going to have two solid years until graduation. It felt like another set back in my goal of getting to California. It really felt unattainable.

Those were probably the quickest two years of my life.

I don't know where this is going. I actually started writing this blog with the intention of complaining that I haven't been to L.A. since November and that I should be taking more advantage of such a great city that's right at my fingertips. So lets get back to that. The problem, I suppose, is that there's so much to do in Orange County that going to L.A. isn't really necessary. I should really start getting up there more. I mean, I see myself living in L.A. in the next few years, so it would be nice to further familiarize myself with it. And now that I have myself a GPS deal, it would be a lot less stressful and a lot more fun to just drive around and check out points-of-interest.

Recently, a lot of the problem lies with the fact that work is consuming so much of my time. I can't remember the last Saturday I didn't have to work. Probably not since before Christmas break. I can't even remember the last time I was home by 5:30. My DVR is clogging up. Drives me nuts.

Anyways, I think when work gets a little less hectic, I need to get back to the exploring. I can't really complain too much, though. Why? Well, I'm going to San Francisco again for three days next week. I've been there so much since September, it's starting to feel like my second (third?) home.

Ok, time for bed. I gotta fly tomorrow.

26

Another year. Another birthday with no family. Boo hoo. Poor me.

At least I'll get a free lunch out of it at work (hopefully), and my surrogate family I'm living with is making me dinner tomorrow night. Both good things.

My family did celebrate my birthday for me last night though, by singing and lighting a candle for me. Watch the video of them in Minnesota and me in California (sponsored by Apple):

I'm Trying to Study, Really

So I started studying for the CPA exam about six weeks ago. As predicted, it started out well. I was following the schedule for three straight weeks. No problem. It actually seemed like it may take less effort that I originally thought. Well, then I ended up traveling for a couple of weeks straight, including flying on Sunday and working on Saturdays. The weekend was really the time when I got into the "meat" of the material. Once those were taken from me, it screwed up my structuring.

I only have two lectures/chapters remaining in the Audit portion of the study material. In the meantime, I've been reviewing what I've already covered, just to keep it fresh. I think what's going to happen is that I'll be done with the lectures and have gone through the entire book once, and the state accountancy board still will not have sent me my schedule. They're notoriously slow with this type of thing. I really, really, really must have all four parts of this exam taken and passed by next Christmas, or it will be increasingly difficult to fit in time to study and have this thing wrapped up by the next busy season. Especially since I will have more responsibility by then.

If I can take my first exam by the end of May, I think I'll be in good shape.

Still, I feel like I should be studying more. I've always felt that way, though. All through college.

When people would tell me they studied for 8 hours straight on consecutive days, I just don't understand. I don't think I'm smarter than them or that I don't need to study as much, but at some point, I can only go over the notes so many times in a row.

That being said, I'm a little nervous that me feeling over-prepared will actually leave me underprepared. I guess I won't really know how much studying needs to be done until I get the results from that first exam.

Dress for Success

I’m closing in on a year at the firm and I haven’t really bought much for clothes since I started. Back in May of last year I spent $100-$200 on clothes from Ross (Dress for Less) and Kohls, but since then, I’ve maybe bought a shirt or two.

I had to throw out a dress shirt last week because there was this funky discoloring on the collar that wasn’t coming out. I think I’ve had that shirt since 2000 or something, so I suppose it was time.

I couple of my favorite shirts – ones I wear once a week – are starting to wear out. As in, tiny holes have been developing. At this point they’re still unnoticeable, but notice ability is inevitable.

I think I’ve mentioned before the poor state my belt is in. It’s only gotten worse. Well, you can add my black shoes to the list. My heel has pretty much worn through the lining and is probably going to get worse. Why haven’t I replaced them? Because on the outside they look just fine.

That brings me to the deep thought of the day. Aren’t most of us like my belt and my shoes? Torn up on the inside where no one can see what’s going on, but on the outside, everything appears to be fine? Unlike my belt and shoes, our insides cannot be replaced, only repaired…never as good as new. I'm so deep.

Who Works on Saturday?

I guess I do. Ten hours on Saturday. What gives? Deadlines. That's what.

I've had thoughts of lots of different things I wanted to blog about this past week:

Sunday... Oakland A's game...
Wednesday... was amongst all the Olympic torch protesting in San Francisco...
Thursday... San Francisco Giants game...
Friday... private tour of a million dollar car collection...

It was a good week, too bad work had to get in the way.

I could blog about each individually, but I probably won't. I'm just tired of working and need some time to breathe. Thank goodness I'm going to be working locally in the near future. I need to catch up on sleep, all the tv shows on my DVR, studying for the CPA exam, and more sleep.

Did I mention it was 96 degrees here today? Yeah. The family I'm living with was gone for the afternoon and I wasn't sure if it was okay to turn on the a/c, so I went to Target to chill out, literally, of course.

My head is still spinning over the fact that "Shout to the Lord" was sung on American Idol. Uhhh....makes no sense. And the version that says "Jesus" and stuff in it is on iTunes. It's pretty good.

Just Take Me Home!

Today was one of the longer travel days I've experienced in recent memory. We finished up our audit in Tulsa today by 2:30 and went to the airport to catch our 4:30 flight. Well, that got delayed until 5, which was fine because our connecting flight in Houston would still be good. Problem is, we got out onto the tarmac and hey, guess what? Houston has grounded all flights and won't let any flights coming there take off. So we sit on the runway for an hour and half until we can depart. Connection in Houston? Not looking good.

Once we were finally airborne and to Houston, I had a good feeling we might still make our connection. Why? Well, logic told me that everyone going in and out of Houston was delayed also, so our connection might still be good. We get off the plane and find a Continental representative. She tells us our flight leaves in 12 minutes. Crap! Houston is a huge airport and if it's in another terminal, we're screwed. Sure, we could take the next flight, but the problem is, the Orange County airport will not accept flights that arrive after 11pm because of local noise ordinances. That means we'd be rerouted to LA or San Diego and shuttled to Orange County. Ew.

Anyways, so we have 12 minutes. The gate for our Orange County flight is C12. We just got off the plane at C11. Money. We made it.

I was lucky enough to bill 5 hours for fieldwork and 10.5 for travel today. Woohoo! Now I get to go into the office tomorrow and pack for next week because I leave Sunday morning at 8:30 for San Francisco. So much for a weekend.

Is it summer yet?

Tulsa, Oklahoma: I'm Having a Good Time

The only thing I really know about Tulsa is that it’s where Chandler accidentally took a promotion on a later season of ‘Friends’ and only saw Monica on weekends. Useful info.

We’re heading towards the home stretch at Almich & Associates. We’ve pretty much wrapped up one of the big jobs, one is in the midst of finishing, and I have this week and next week before I’m freed up for awhile. Sure, something else will probably be scheduled, but for now, my first busy season is almost complete. Wasn’t I just home for Christmas? Seems like it.

Nicole and I got to Tulsa late Sunday night. Our rental car was out of stock, so we got upgraded to a Jeep Grand Cherokee with leather interior, satellite radio, and a backup camera!! I’m driving in luxury. It’s making me rethink the whole Toyota Yaris for $10,500 once Mable dies. Of course, I’d never ever buy a Chrysler/Ford/Dodge whatever family Jeep is from, but it sure is nice to have for a week.

Speaking of Mable, she’s being taken care of by my landlord Stephen this week. His car is in the shop and I’m out of town, so it worked out good for both of us. His Honda is having its first major repairs in almost 10 years. He calls it bad luck. I call it being lucky. That’s a long time to go without a big car repair bill. Anyways, his commute to work this week will put Mable into the 293,000 range. We’re almost there!!

As Nicole and I got back from lunch yesterday, we were pulling up to our parking spot. I noticed a car backing out in my peripheral vision. I sort of thought it looked like he was going to back into a car parked perpendicular to his. Sure enough. Slow and soft, but definitely crunched. The owner of the hit vehicle comes running out of the school lobby and is furious. It really wasn’t that bad. Although he couldn’t open his door up all the way because of it. Sucks. It was just interesting to watch the whole thing go down, even without hearing what they were saying. I don’t know why I am telling you this.

Last night we went to the local Indian casino. It was lovely. The buffet was sub par, the air was nasty and the winnings were non-existent. I maxed out at $5. Nicole spotted me another $10, which I proceeded to lose. She ended up winning $300 on penny slots, only after I came over and sat by her. She forgave my $10 gambling debt. Thank goodness. I didn’t want her to send her goons after me to break my knees for not paying her back. I still don’t get the whole fascination with gambling.

Vegas casinos are so much nicer. Duh. But the clientele is also completely different in Vegas compared to the Cherokee Casino. I feel like I fit in more when I’m in say…Planet Hollywood or the Bellagio. This place, not so much. I needed to add 50-75 pounds, grow out my hair (in the back), drink some Pabst Blue Ribbon and smoke whatever the cheapest cigarettes are.

I’m just sayin’.

I Golf. I'm a Golfer.

One of my goals since I decided to be an accountant was to learn to golf. Well folks, I can grab the pencil to cross it off my list (but lets not cross it off quite yet).

I went to the driving range with my landlord, Stephen, last night and it turns out I'm not as bad as either of us thought. The cash register wasn't working, so they let us each take a free bucket of balls. Nice! We had a good time.

I told Don to bring his clubs to work today so that we could go afterwards. Over lunch I picked up a glove; I've found a new hobby.

Tonight I was a little sore, but I was more consistent than last night. I actually did pretty good. Stephen let me borrow his dead neighbors clubs which he acquired. It turns out they belonged to a John R. Fox, at least that's what the tag says. I'm using a dead dudes golf clubs. Creepy, right?

I think Don and I are going to go once more this week because we're both going to be out of town for awhile. Stephen and I will probably go this weekend, too. Hey, I only spent $5 tonight and had an hour of entertainment. You just can't beat that.

Happy Easter!

I know I'm a day early, but the weather is so nice today (bordering on h-o-t) that I just had to say....

Happy Easter!

No. 2 Thief, Part II

Before you read this, read Part I below.

Today I was in one of the accounting clerk's office and he was writing something out for me. The No. 2 Thief came in to ask me a question. She needed to make a note about it on her notepad. She left.

Accounting Clerk is about to continue what he was telling me...

"Where did my pen go? I always seem to be losing them."

"I think D**** [the No. 2 Thief] took it."

"I swear, she's a klepto. She's always taking my pens."

I laughed to myself as I walked away and though, "she struck again!" I took comfort in knowing I wasn't the only victim.

As I was in her office later this morning, I noticed it right there, sitting on her desk, the pencil she stole from me on Monday. While she was going on about something, all I could do is stare at my pencil. I had to let it go though. It's over. Left there in Oakland while I'm back here in Orange County.

Like I said, I'm over it.

No. 2 Thief

The accounting manager at the client Don and I are at this week in Oakland asked to borrow my pencil on Monday morning. She took it with her. I didn't see it the rest of the day.

Tuesday, she's in the room talking to Partner Joe, and Don motions to said accounting manager, then points to his hair and makes a writing gesture.

It's in her hair. My pencil is in her hair.

I don't even want it back now.

Today she comes in our room and starts to write on something with it.

Does she not wonder where she got this pencil from? I usually notice when I'm using a writing instrument that's not mine. And it's not like it's just another yellow pencil; it's a mechanical one. A red one at that.

I'm over it.

Survivor

So remember way back when CBS and Mark Burnett announced the production of "Survivor"? Well, obviously most of you are familiar with the concept of the show now. But back when the first news of this show was released, I genuinely thought it was going to be taken literal. I remember thinking, "wow, so people are really going to risk their lives for $1 million?"

I thought that the winner would be the only one who survives...literally. How messed up is that? Thankfully (?) it's not true, although I don't think it's outside of the real of possibility for a show to exist like that some day. Maybe on Pay Per View or something. If releases are signed waiving liability, what's illegal about it? Certainly something.

Anyways...back to studying.

My First Financial Statements

The main purpose of auditing companies is to express an opinion on their financial statements as to whether they are free of material misstatement and are in conformity with generally accepted accounting principles in the United States of America.

You got that?

I recently had an opportunity to draft my first financial statements. Now normally, as a rookie accountant, you wouldn't get to do this for 2-3 years -- maybe more. But because our firm is short staffed and handling a lot of clients, I got the chance to gain some awesome experience.

The cool part is that we audit post-secondary institutions: trade schools, medical/health training schools, etc,. and these auditor's reports end up in the hands of the U.S. Department of Education. So they're kind of important. If the school doesn't get a favorable opinion from us, they could potentially lose their funding from the Fed and that would pretty much be the end of them. As far as I know though, our firm rarely if ever has to issue anything but an unqualified opinion.

We have a template that we use and we just plug in the final numbers. The footnotes to the financials need to be modified for each client, but we just roll that forward from the previous years financials and make any applicable changes. It's not too difficult, but like I said, in general, staff auditors would never ever get to do this at larger firms. Kinda nice. More pressure, but worth it in the end.

Anyways, my draft made it through two Partner reviews and is about to be issued next week.

After I've done this a few more times, I'm sure I'll be over it and wish I could go back to no responsibility.

Gimme a Brake!

In efforts to save myself some buck$, I had my boss/friend Ryan do my brakes last night. I sort of half-asked if he knew anyone who could help me out, and as a matter of fact, he could. From that point on, I sort of didn't want to bug him about it, but a couple of days later, he asked when we were going to do them, so I figured he was wanting to do it - not offering out of kindness.

What he thought would take only a couple of hours ended up taking closer to five. Just what everyone wants to do on a Monday night. The objective of the evening was to get my rotors turned and install new brake pads. Easy enough. Well, since Mable is in her golden years, some of her nuts and bolts are a little hard to jimmy loose. I bet Ryan literally spent 30 some minutes trying to get one of those suckers off. He attached a long metal pole to his wrench to get some leverage, and the wrench snapped and broke. Craftsman!

Just before giving up and calling it a night, he managed to get that thing loose. Blah, blah, blah....we got the rotors turned at Pep Boys, saw the loser service supervisor turn down replacing a granny's battery ("sorry, my car needs a battery, too. that's how busy we are" he says. boo.), went to Bill's Burgers for some burgers, blah blah and everything turned out fine.

There was more than a few times where I wished I had just gone to the mechanic, but after spending only $55 to have some good as new brakes, it was worth it. Best part is, it sounds like we're going to replace the front calipers next, then tackle the rears. I consider myself lucky. I'm going to save close to $1,000 when all is said and done.

Somehow I didn't think I needed a change of clothes after work; somehow I managed to help out and not get one smudge on my khakis. High five!

I Fought the Law (Still Am!)

Growing up male, middle-class, and white, I do have it pretty easy (studies show). I guess I can admit that that's true. However, I can't help but think that I still am being kept down by The Man in some ways just like everyone else. So when I have the opportunity to fight back, I take it.

Chew on this: I have two reasons for the CHiPs to pull me over. And for those of you who don't know who the CHiPs are, it's a television show from a long time ago, but also the California Highway Patrol. Anyways, these guys are all over the place on their bikes. Motor bikes. Now, back to my reasons.

I was pulled over last fall for some ridiculous reason. I was heading East when a police office heading West passed me, made a u-turn and pulled up behind me at a red light. We proceeded through 2-3 more intersections and traveled about 2 miles when he finally decides to turn on his cherries and stop me. His reason? My middle brake light is out.

But before we get to that conclusion, he asks me whose car I'm driving, what I'm doing in California (I have MN plates) if I've ever been arrested, and if I've ever been in jail. Not sure how any of that was relevant, but I like to humor these guys. When he realizes he's got nothing on me, he just tells me to fix my light. Okay, sure.

As time passes and I can't find the bulb I need, I decide I'm going to defy The Man and not get it fixed. No siree. I want to see if this particular cop was just being a turd cause he had nothing better to do, or if they actually do waste their time pulling people over for stupid stuff like that.

So check this out. I'm in downtown Los Angeles at a late hour in a desolate area driving an old(er) car with out of state plates and a cop pulls up behind me at a red light. The light turns green. We come to the next red light and sit there again. He has plenty of time to think about busting me for my brake light. My supposed lack of safety is staring at him straight in the face. Well, as we get going again, he turns on his lights and whizzes past me. As I finally catch up with him, he's stopped at some shady bar to back-up his fellow man on the force who's got a guy on the ground at gun point.

Since then, I've had numerous police peoples sitting right behind me at stoplights or just following behind me. Every time I brake with my lack of the middle brake light, I get nervous. But guess what? Nothing. No one has pulled me over. I bet it's been 6-8 times I've been followed with no resulting consequences.

My conclusion: the guy that pulled me over was being a tool.

Reason two to pull me over: My registration tags on my license plates expired in December. The rear one isn't even visible. Sure, I have the most current registration tags. My car is registered. I just haven't bothered to display them yet. I'm actually pretty surprised nothing has resulted from it; I would think that I draw extra attention being one of the few without California plates on.

So there you have it. My way of silent protest. I may not tag walls with graffiti, do illegal drugs, or even eat grapes at the supermarket without paying for them, but I am a bad___. I am sticking it to The Man. It may be only a matter of time before I suffer the consequences, or is it? I've already gone many months. In fact, a cop was tailing me for 6 blocks on the way home from work tonight. Nothing.

Some may say at this point, "knock on wood," but I don't believe in those old cliches.

Hopefully I have no updates to this story for a long time. Godspeed be unto me.

If you'd like to support my quest of fighting The Man, click on the Google Ad in the left pane. It may earn me $0.01.

Larry Norman (1947-2008)

It saddens me to report that a week ago today, Larry Norman, the Father of Christian Rock, passed away of heart failure.

Many/most of you have probably never heard of Larry Norman. He started his career back in the 1960s in San Francisco, California as part of the "Jesus Movement" while signed to Capitol Records and later MGM.

"[In] 1971, TIME magazine was reporting on the growth of the Jesus Movement, and while Larry Norman took some steps to distance himself from it, he had become the most popular musician among its followers. TIME Magazine reported that Eric Clapton had become a 'convert of the Jesus Movement,' and a 1971 cover article also named members of Peter, Paul, and Mary and Fleetwood Mac within its sphere of influence. Johnny Cash was also named."

Larry was also a huge influence in helping musicians break their drug habits. He started a Bible study called "The Vineyard" in the 1970s that was attended by actors and musicians. Most notably: Bob Dylan.

By the end of the '70s, Larry left the major labels and pursued a career as an independent artist. Throughout his career, his work has appeared on over 90 albums. Van Morrison as well as John Mellencamp have claimed to be fans of Larry and over 300 artists have covered his songs, including Sammy Davis, Jr.

Larry's had problems with his heart for decades. Surgery after surgery have been performed, although it was usually just a struggle to even get into the operating room. Costly operations are difficult to pay for when you're an independent musician with no health insurance. Larry had to rely primarily on the financial support of his fans to cover his medical expenses.

I was introduced to Larry Norman's music back in 1995 or so. My sister Krysti was dating my now brother-in-law Marc, who was also my youth pastor at the time. Marc had been a fan of Larry's music for years and was quite eager to share that fanaticism with a new generation (me).



In May of 1996, Marc and I journeyed to Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, just outside of Toronto, to see Larry. It was my first time, Marc's too, if I recall. We drove over 13 hours overnight to get there. We arrived at the venue about 4 hours before the show and were pretty much the only attendees around. The promotor heard how far we'd traveled, and reserved two seats front and center just for us. It was a pretty amazing experience considering the history and influence of Larry's message and his music. It was also a reminder of how fragile his health was, even then. Forty-eight at the time, he already had had major heart surgery more than once. He had to stop the concert halfway through due to a bout of coughing and to go take some heart meds. After thirty or so minutes, though, he came back out and finished his set.



Marc and I had the opportunity to meet him afterwards. I don't remember much about it, being 15ish at the time, but I do remember that Larry was very low-key and happy just to be able to talk to his fans about what's going on in their lives, his music, or anything really. It was quite an experience. Something I'll never forget.



I'm not sure the timeline, but maybe a year later, Larry was performing in Iowa somewhere. Marc and I badly wanted to see him again, and knowing how (un)healthy he was, knew we'd better take the chance when we had it. This time we brought along my sister, Marc's wife, so she could experience the magic. She wasn't the hugest fan of Larry's before she saw him live; most people aren't. He doesn't have the most radio-friendly voice or anything. But after she saw him in person, she came to appreciate the artist that Larry truly is: goofy at times, but at his core, a genuine human being who had the gift of influencing people with his message and music.





When I was in high school, I had the opportunity to pick a song to present to my english class. We were looking at music and the meaning behind the words in the songs. I chose Larry Norman's "America." It was the perfect chance to present Larry to people who likely hadn't heard of him before. I'm not sure if I converted any fans, but it was pretty cool for me.

In the ten years since I've seen Larry live, he's had a stroke and other ailments, disallowing him to even play the guitar for a couple years earlier this decade. I've often wanted to see him one last time, as I'm older and more in tune with myself and the world. Seeing him perform was very limited in occurrence and distant in location; it just never really worked out. I'm very thankful and blessed that I was able to see him when I did.

Larry, thank you for the gift of your music, for the blessing of your message, and the convictions of your heart. You will be missed, but never forgotten.

Now that I've been a little lax in tracking down your albums, I suppose that those vinyl records going for $400 awhile back on eBay will be even harder to track down.

Here's a classic video of Larry, likely from the '80s:



At the time of his death, Norman had been working on a new project with Modest Mouse's Isaac Brock and Pixies frontman Frank Black, who cites Norman as a major influence. That music will be released later this year (Reuters).

Source: Wikipedia

Lunch Money

Last year when our firm was auditing our client in Alabama, they had lunch catered in every day. When we were back there for preliminary work in December, there was no catering. There was a change in management from the year before, so we can chalk it up to that. However, yesterday, when we were finishing up our year end work, I mentioned to one of the VP's of something that we weren't sure if we were going to have time for lunch because we had quite a bit to do before leaving for our late afternoon flight.

Without hesitation, she says that she'd get us a menu to a local deli and order it for us and have one of the girls go pick it up. So ok, I'm thinking "Yes! They're buying lunch for us!" Well, then Don is all, "are you supposed to give her your credit card...?" And I'm all, "no, man, she said she'd order it for us."

The more I got to thinking, I thought maybe that didn't necessarily mean she was paying for it. Well, when I went back to this VP's office with our order, I offered her my credit card fully expecting her to decline it. We didn't even do the whole "no, that's okay, I got it" "ohhh, are you sure?" exchange. Nope. She took my credit card and $20 later, I bought the audit team's lunch.

What the heck?

Stuff White People Like; Mable; Foo Fighters

I'm going to combine a few totally unrelated items into one blog. I can do that, right? Of course I can.

Let's start with this great new blog I found called Stuff White People Like. It's basically a social commentary on...well, the title says it all. Here's an excerpt from #71 Being the Only White Person Around:

Many white people will look into the window of an ethnic restaurant to see if there are other white people in there. It is determined to be an acceptable restaurant if the white people in there are accompanied by ethnic friends. But if there is a table occupied entirely by white people, it is deemed unacceptable.

How true is that?

Moving on...

Mable is fast approaching 300,000 miles. Logically, her end is near, but realistically, she's running as good as she did years ago. I'm going in for a tuneup in a week and fully expect everything to check out fine. Thing is, I need to hedge the risk and prepare myself for the day she moves on to rustier pastures. I've briefly entertained the thought of buying the exact same car. I searched cars.com and the closest 1995 Grand Prixses (?) for sale is 548 miles away. That's pretty amazing considering the population in Southern California. Kind of sad, too. 131,000 miles for $2400. Not bad?

Sure, I want a newer better car as much as the next person. But I'm trying to make the most financially sound choice. No, I probably wouldn't drive 548 miles to pick up an old car with who knows how much life left in it. It would be pretty adventurous though.

Let's say that I get a newer car, though. The average car payment is what? $300? So if I spend $2400 on a used 1995 Grand Prix, it's only got to last me eight months to make it worth it. Anything longer than that is cake. That may be a pretty big risk, though. I have to assume those other Prixs haven't been taken as good of care of as mine.

The more likely plan is to put $5000 down on a $10,000 car. Likely a Toyota. Even likelier a Toyota Yaris. Yes, it's the cheapest car they make, yes I could probably afford better, but I really don't want to. I want to have that thing paid off in 6 months. Plus, it's a Toyota; it will last me a long time. I intend on it being the last economy car I buy.

Sorry folks. I don't want a car payment. I had two new cars before I was 21. I'm so over that.

Finally...

I got an email from the pastor of my church today talking about the weekend services and what not. He mentioned how one of our worship team drummers, Drew Hester won a Grammy a couple of weeks ago. So I'm thinking, that is pretty awesome. Then he goes onto say that Drew ALSO is the drummer for the FOO FIGHTERS who won a Grammy for Rock Album of the Year. So, apparently the drummer at the church I go to has been moonlighting with the Foo Fighters this whole time and won two Grammys and I had no idea. Okay, if you know me and you know the Foo Fighters, that is pretty stinkin' cool. I just watched them on Letterman the other night, so B.A.

I'm leaving for Birmingham, Alabama tomorrow where I'll be working until Friday. I hope to blog at least once while I'm there, but if not, I hope this ties/tides you over. You choose.

Thai One On Me

My buddy/co-worker Don and I were eating lunch today at Thai Basil, a Thai restaurant, duh, when there was just curry left in the bowl of chicken and curry. I said to him, "what will you give me if I drink the rest of that?" Cause you see, I'm classy like that.

He said... "You finish that, I'll pay for your lunch, and for FroYo sometime this week."

He didn't really say "FroYo," I'm saying that in hopes that it will catch on. FroYo = frozen yogurt.

I debated it for a few minutes. Took a couple sips of the curry. Not too spicy. But this will tear me up, right? Not tear like cry (well maybe that, too) but tear as in rip my stomach apart.

But I'm going to save $9 on lunch and $4 on FroYo! So I did it. I drank the rest of the curry. He was all excited in anticipation of my afternoon in the bathroom.

Lunch = free.

Then he challenges me to finish the rest of the rice and the pad thai. That would equal free FroYo or Jamba Juice every day the rest of the week. Well, I couldn't do it. I had to draw the line somewhere, right?

So I was anticipating an interesting afternoon, but my stomach totally stepped up to the plate and took that curry like a (Thai)man! I felt fine all afternoon. I felt bad that I didn't feel bad. I feel like Don didn't get his money's worth. Well, I sure did. Free lunch. You can't beat that.

I'm a winner.

Lazy Sunday

Well I don't want the title of this blog to lead you to think of the SNL Digital Short, because you will be disappointed. It really is a lazy Sunday.

I went into the office to prepare for this week. I went in for a tune-up on my car and got brushed off until next weekend. I did some laundry. I cleaned my bathroom. And...yeah not much else.

I plan on watching the tube the rest of the day. Now that I have a DVR like the rest of the country, I need to make sure it doesn't get too full. It's usually not a problem, but when I'm gone for a week at a time and only home on the weekend, stuff piles up. Priorities, people!

I better enjoy it while I can. I'm buying my CPA review course this week and it should be here by the weekend. That means less TV time for yours truly. Boo-hoo, waaah-waaah. Right?

It will be worth it in the end, of course. And I like the fact that I'm forced into no social life right now because I'm 100% focused on paying my credit card debt off. It's going well.

Also, what's this thing Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul are always doing on American Idol? When a contestant is waiting for the judges "yea" or "nay" it's always one of them, or both, who say "1000% yes!" then the next person has to top that, usually Paula, who says "one-million-trillion% yes!" Ohhhh that bugs me so much. I'm pretty sure you can't be more than 100% certain of something. No. 110%-150% is acceptable, because it's unavoidable in everyday conversation, but not 1000% or one million thousand percent. Bah.

Good Eats in San Francisco

I’m sitting in my hotel room in San Francisco writing this. The internet is $4.95 per day, so I’ll have to type this in Word for now, and just post it later.

I haven’t been here since September, and let me say, I’ve missed it and I didn’t even know it. Like New York City, but in a completely different way, there’s just something about it. Maybe it’s just the whole urban living type thing. The smell of urine, people begging for money, public transportation…you just can’t beat it.

But seriously, it’s just a blast to be staying in a nice hotel that I’m not paying for and to be able to step outside the front door and be within blocks of things to do. And now that I’ve been here before, we hop on the subway from the airport and don’t have to think twice about what we’re doing or where we’re going.

Tonight I went back to the best food court I’ve been to in my life. It’s just a higher class food court or something. No fast food joints, but Italian, Mexican, seafood, Japanese, Korean BBQ, Gourmet Thai, burgers, gelato, a cream puff place called the Beard Papa or something. Yes, Beard.…Amaaazing! I was walking down the street eating this thing out of the bag sort of, trying to make sure a bum didn’t see me porking in front of him/her, and the cream was dripping all over my hands and on my face. Good thing it was dark, although I’m not sure that mattered. It was so good, though.

So while we had some down time before dinner, I decided to hit up a couple of these spots beforehand so I made sure to get them in. Last time I was here I didn’t get any gelato, so yeah, I went. I had my dessert before my dinner and I loved it. Then I had a chocolate covered éclair with vanilla cream in the middle. Holy cow. Mmm.

I’m wondering if I’ll run into the homeless guy who rapped for me last time. We talked for 20-30 minutes and he told me he could rap about any topic, so I challenged him, and he did, and it wasn’t half bad. He had a pretty good story and everything, he was a newly homeless guy; his clothes were still clean and he didn’t smell or look scruffy or anything. Heck, he may have been hustling me, but anyways… I had some extra per diem left over for the week, so I gave him a little more than most people probably do. Point is…if he runs into me this week he’ll probably remember me as the sucker who bought into his crap and will try and hit me up again.

Either that or his story was true and the temp job worked out into a permanent job and he turned things around, thanks in part to my contribution. I’d like to think so.

In other news, when I was in the bathroom stall in between the gelato and the éclair, this guy comes into the stall next to me and is talking on his cell phone. He proceeds to give the person on the other line his cell phone number, so I’m sitting there (sorry if this is TMI), with my cell out already, playing pinball, and so I punch in his number. I hit dial. He says to the person he’s talking to, “hold on, I have another call…Hello? (Silence) HELLO??...Hey, sorry man, they hung up on me..” and I’m there trying not to laugh.

I didn’t really do that. I entered the number into my phone, but couldn’t go through with it. Maybe next time.

Neighborhood Band

It seems I live in the neighborhood of not one, but two garage bands. Well, the kid up the street I just hear playing his drums. The kid(s) down the street, though, have a guitar and bass in the mix. I'm kind of surprised the neighbors put up with it, but they do. I'm all for these kids pursuing their dreams, but you have to admit, most garage bands stink.

However, this afternoon, I was watching the teevee and I overheard the lick from Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit," and it didn't suck. Maybe that's not saying much, and I was on the other end of the block, so distance may have distorted my perception.

That's all I have to say about that.

Is anyone watching Breaking Bad on AMC? It's about this chemistry teacher who learns he is dying of lung cancer so he decides to team up with a former student and cook crystal meth in an RV. It's pretty interesting/entertaining/funny. I didn't think I'd really like it at first. I mean, the lead is the dad from Malcolm in the Middle for Pete's sake. (Yeah, Pete.) If I would have known that I may not have even bothered watching it. Thank goodness he's nothing at all like that character. He's good.

I'm off to San Francisco for the week. I leave the house at 5:15AM tomorrow morning and should be back Friday night early evening. It should be kinda fun. I'm going to the same place and with the same team as back in September. I'm looking forward to ordering "The Chairman" at Specialties Deli and getting a blonde lager from 21st Amendment Bar & Grill. I'm not looking forward to missing out on the awesome weather SoCal is having right now. Sure, it's still warm(er) in San Fran than it is in MN, but it's still gonna be jacket weather in the morning. Boo.

I'm starting to wonder, too, who I'm writing this blog for. Some topics I'd like to blog about I just don't because I figure my constituents won't care about. And I don't want people skipping posts because they're uninteresting. If there are too many of them, I might lose readers. At the same time, I kind of want to talk about other things from time to time. Like the aforementioned Breaking Bad. Maybe the key is to marry it with other topics and not spend too much time on it. And, why do you care about how and what I decide to blog about? You don't.

Winter in California

I don't meant to complain or anything, but it's kind of hot out today. Yeah; 80. I looked at the temperature back home in MN, and it said 0. That's kind of a large difference. I'm trying to relate that difference to other things to put it in to perspective. That's eighty times warmer than zero. But 80 x 0 = 0, so I'm not sure how that works.

On days like today, I feel kind of bad for sitting inside all day. But then I think, too, that if I felt bad every time it was nice outside, I'd be outside 350 days of the year or be pretty depressed, so then I just open the window and don't feel so bad.

I did go to the bank and pick up my dry-cleaning though, so that was nice.

I also took a couple pictures of the view from my new abode:


This is from my bedroom.


This is from the backyard. The house sits on a little cliff type hill, so it's kinda cool. That's Saddleback Mountain in the distance. The same one you could see from my last place, just farther away.

Queer Eye for the Blog Guy

My shirt and tie inventory is low and in heavy rotation. I need to add a couple more combos as I start going to more clients in the next few months. My favorite men's store is the Knight's Chamber in my hometown of St. Cloud, Minnesota. Why? Because the last two combos picked out by Chris Bitzen, son of the owner, have been stellar. I've gotten so many compliments on them. I decided I might as well stick with what works.

The problem is, of course, I live in California. I had this idea that my mom could go to the store and take pictures of some killer combos that Chris picks out, then email me the pictures. I can then pick what I want and have them shipped to me. Another great thing about the Knight's Chamber is that they will lengthen my ties for free. This is a must, because I tie my ties in the double-windsor knot, and with my height...well, just trust me.

So my mom just sent me a few combinations and I want y'all's help picking out my next outfit. I intend on buying 1-2 shirts/ties this go round. They are $30 each, so I can't go crazy. Also, if we're not too crazy about these, I can have more options given to me. So here goes...


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So that's it. Vote 1-4 from your most favorite to your least. I don't expect many comments on my website, cause I don't get many to begin with, but you MySpace folks, I'm expecting a lot from you.

So, comment or e-mail me.

Free Hugs at Target!

Well, maybe just my Target.

Yesterday, I was walking out of Target and noticed the sign that said something to the effect that Target doesn't allow solicitors in front of their stores regardless of the cause. I like this. I'm sure most customers like this. I cannot stand to go to the grocery store when kids are selling cookies or old men in white suits are collecting change in a tin can. I do, however, give a free pass to the Salvation Army folks at Christmas, because they generally just ring their bell and don't actually solicit/elicit a response from me.

So right, the sign, no solicitors.

It just so happens that the very next day, I'm at Target again (hey, it's right by the office, I'm on my lunch break, I can't eat lunch at home anymore, I have time to kill) and what do I see? Solicitors.

Two of them.

One is holding a sign that says "FREE HUGS" while the other guy is holding a sign that says "HUGS: $10." As I approach I think to myself "there's no avoiding this" so I didn't even try. "You want a free hug or do you want to pay this guy $10?"

"I'll hug ya on the way out, man."

So on my way out... crap. He's still there. The $10 hugger left. Apparently, he cut his rate to $5 and still had no takers and just decided to give up and leave. I don't buy this story, because I was only in Target to drop off a prescription and this couldn't have gone down that fast. Regardless. I hugged the guy. Or he hugged me. I'm not really sure. All I know is that a random hugging occurred outside Target.

So to make this less weird, there was a film crew across the way filming what was going on. As in, this wasn't some pedophile who just wanted to hug little kids with unsuspecting mothers, or twentysomething accountants on their lunch breaks.

As I was sitting in my car in the parking lot, eating my sangwich, reading Nick Hornby's High Fidelityand waiting for my prescription to be filled, I decided that I'd had enough hugs from strangers for the day, and I'd go back tomorrow to pick it up.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this was for some piece a local church was shooting related to an upcoming message to be shown during the service. I'd even go further and say it was for my church. They would do something like that. Cause, really, who else would do something like that?

Who doesn't like a hug, right? But in the end, I'm a little upset because Target allowed this shenanigan (that's exactly what it was) to go on a few yards away from signage that expressly prohibits it.

It's only a matter of time before little Suzie Q and Johnny Boy Scout are peddling their mint chocolate chip cookies outside my local Target. And then, pffft, I might as well just go back to shopping at Wal-Mart. At least I expect it there. Along with low prices.

I'm Officially a Dork.

Well, the verdict may or may not have been out on that in many of your opinions. But well, it's at least official with me. Why? Because, I am excited over my new keyboard.

It's true.

Now, I'm as much a Mac fanboy as the next guy. Heck, I went and bought the new operating system the day it came out. I watch Steve Jobs' keynote address at the MacWorld convention in San Francisco. But a new keyboard?

At least I haven't stooped to wearing the Apple t-shirt I got the day I bought the new OS. Not yet, anyways. I think I need to wait until I'm married to do that, or else there may be no hope for me.

I just never liked the one that came with my first Mac a couple of years ago. It was the standard Apple keyboard at the time, but it just always felt klunky to me and uncomfortable. It was white and pretty though. I had to keep it. It matched.

Anyways, now Apple has a new re-designed keyboard out. It feels and types just like my MacBook, which I love. I am typing so much faster now and with fewer errors. My fingers just glide across the board. And it has USB 2.0 ports on it. Nice!!

So over lunch on Friday I went over to the Apple Store at South Coast Plaza in Costa Mesa, Calif. to take one for a test drive. It was wonderful. I bought one.

And who are all these people hanging out at the mall on a Friday afternoon? It wasn't just moms and kids either, it was your normal mall crowd. What do these people do for a living? They couldn't possibly all be on their lunch breaks. The Apple Store was as busy as any weekend. I had to wade through a sea of wide-eyed adult-kids wondering why they've waited so long to make the switch to a Mac. Anyways, this is getting away from the point of the blog.

My new keyboard rocks. I love to type.

Go here to see pictures:

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No Worries, Boss!

I went to lunch with my coworker Audrey the other day. We went to Red Robin, but that's irrelevant.

It was around 2pm, so the lunch rush was over. We got a table and were waited on immediately. It was good stuff. Our food even came out in less then 15 minutes. All good.

Our waiter, different story. It started out cool and all. He seemed pretty into his chosen field of serving delicious gourmet burgers to folks like myself, which I think is great. Serving food is all about tips, right? So why not act like you're enjoying your job? He tried to upsell me a Blue Moon, "it's on tap, boss!" Which I normally would totally have gone for, but I guess it's not okay to drink alcohol when I have to go back to work. But who are these people who are getting drinks over lunch then? Unemployed folks? What are they doing eating out? And getting drinks, no less? Anyways...

This guy started to get on my nerves, not the first time he called me "boss," not even the second time. The third time on. This was his go to word to warm up to the male patrons. He didn't call Audrey anything. Just me. And if that wasn't enough to bug, he would always say "no worries" in place of "you're welcome."

"Can I get some more fries?"

"No worries, boss."

I didn't seem to recall ever being worried that he wouldn't bring me more fries. So, ok.

It actually takes me back to something my Grandpa Wendell told me about several years ago. He has this annoyance with folks who always say "no problem" instead of "you're welcome." Isn't that most people, though? He would say to them, even strangers, "I didn't say there was a problem." I need to confirm this, but I'm pretty sure he would actually say that to people. At first I didn't understand why that bothered him so much. In fact, I didn't really understand until Mr. No Worries, Boss waited on me at Red Robin.

No Worries.

No Problem.

Same difference, right?

Grandpa, now I understand. Thank you.

Okay, Now It's Official

I just settled on my lease. I'm out of the old place, and have freed up lots of $$$. Anyways, as promised, here's pictures of my new digs...It's not as big as it looks! BUT, it's big enough for me. I have everything I need. My HD-DVR should be working sometime this weekend (hopefully) and all will be good. And I'm even eating less than before. Way to go!

Okay, check out my boy-themed room. Cause I'm a boy.

Welcome to Your (My) New Home

I moved. I did it. Right down the street, say, about five miles. But it's done. (Almost) officially. I have everything moved, you see, I just haven't paid the moola to break my lease. I won't have the money until Thursday.

I went to the office on two different occasions to confirm that, yes, I can show up the day I want to break my lease, and yes just pay the money, no questions asked. That better be the case or I don't know what happens then.

My apartment is empty. I cleaned it out yesterday. I was hoping to have some help, but my help came down with something. I ended up getting help where necessary, but the rest I did on my own. Man, I must've taken 100 trips up and down that staircase to my front door.

So how do I go from a one bedroom apartment to a...one bedroom bedroom? It's not easy. I thought, well, I moved into my apartment from a bedroom in an apartment in college. I couldn't have acquired that much more, could I? Well, I must've. I somehow managed to fit it all, though. I may have to put some boxes in the garage to make it a little more comfortable, but it'll work. I even took a trunk load to Goodwill.

The furniture I acquired in November was from my new landlords. Well, neither of us knew we'd be roomies and I wouldn't need the furniture nor have room for it a few months later. A waste in hindsight. Since I didn't have room for the sofa-sleeper and the dresser, nor help to move it, I had to get rid of it. I originally wanted to take it to Goodwill, but that was a more than one person job. A little birdie told me I should just craigslist it and it'd be gone by the end of the day.

Sure enough, within 30 minutes of listing it, I had a call for each. Within an hour, I had 3 calls for each, 1 for both. Within 2 hours, they were both gone.

The first buyers (although I was giving them away for free) were a Russian or Slovakian couple or something. The lady was as manly as her husband and had construction worker hands and a deep voice with a think accent kind of like Nikolai on 'Six Feet Under.' It was great.

The second buyer was this fella named Gao. He wanted the dresser. He came over with his wife. He came in first and looked at it and said he better make sure his wife wants it before he decides to take it. So she comes up. I was a little worried they wouldn't want my generous gift when they realized not all the drawers worked. Thankfully, they didn't try them out first...until we got the unit in the car and were like "there's no room for the drawers!" But of course, Gao is all "lets pull out the dresser and put the drawers back in, then it will all fit!" And I am all "oh I hope he doesn't want a refund!" But before they finished he thanked me and I went back inside and locked the door. He never came back. Success!

I don't know if you've ever used craigslist before, but it was my first time. Next time I think I'll hire a secretary to make all the arrangements for me. Once things got rolling I bet I got 10-12 calls in the matter of 60 minutes. It was nuts.

I've only spent one night in my new digs, so it's too early to say how it's going to be. I have a lock on my door, and bathroom to myself, and we're getting me a HD-DVR box this week, so I think that's a good start. Plus, oh yeah, I'm saving $800+ a month on rent. You just can't beat that. For now.

Pictures to come.

I Should Be a Writer

At least that's what people tell me. But taking advice like that is how you end up on American Idol having Simon tell you you're the worst bloody singer he's ever heard. Here's how it would go down...

Simon: What is it that you do for a living Brett?

Me: It's Brent.

Simon: No, I asked what it is you do for a living.

Me: I'm an accountant.

Simon: Well if you're as good at accounting as you are at singing, a lot of people will be amending their tax return.

Me:

Simon: Off you go, Brett.

Granted, I'm not a tax accountant, but most people default to that when I tell them I'm an accountant. And I couldn't think of anything else.

The point is, I have to really take people's praise with some grain and a little salt. Sure, I enjoy writing, but people's comments are based on my free-thinking semi-regular observations and anecdotes. These days, blogs like mine are a dime a dozen. Back in the...'90s, I could have maybe used my musings to land me a column in a local rag but these days...pffft. This may be my only outlet.

I do have ambitions to write a novel some day. Thing is, I can only seem to write about what's real. I have a hard time coming up with anything that could actually develop into something. I'm sure if I spent a lot of time on it, I could learn the proper form and how to develop my ideas, but that's going to have to wait. I need to make money for awhile.

I would absolutely love to write a novel that is a smash and allows me to just quit doing the 9-5 and maybe buy a bungalow near the beach while I try to come up with my follow-up novel. Hey, it's been done.

I had this idea for a story once. It actually came to me in a dream. And I remember dreaming that it would be a good story to write about. When I woke up, all I remembered was that I thought it would be a good story for a novel. I can't do much with that.

Another idea I had the other day was this: I wonder if anyone has ever called the wrong phone number, and through a series of events, ended up dating and marrying that person. How would you get from point A to point B? I have no idea. That's the story, but I'm sure it's had to have happened out there somewhere. Or maybe it's a stupid idea.

Now don't steal it.

I suppose I should start small by writing short stories or a novella. I have no idea.

In the mean time, I'll just keep writing on my blog and hopefully you will continue to enjoy it.

For those of you who compliment me on my writing, don't stop (unless you're just sucking up to me so you get a shout-out on the World Wide Web). It's people like you that keep the hope alive that maybe some day I can do something with it.

Pizza the Hut

I've had pizza the past 6 out of 7 meals. I don't eat breakfast, so don't figure that in.

Here's how it went down...

Friday I wanted Digiornos after a long week of auditing. And some beer. Well, I ate half of it that night and thought I'd eat the rest for lunch on Saturday.

Saturday I went into work at 10AM. Well, there was a bunch of us there, so we bought pizza. There was way too much.

I ate the rest for dinner Saturday and then for lunch and dinner Sunday. It was so good. Fresh parmesan cheese. No lie.

Tonight, I still had my Digiornos left. And that's all she wrote.

And I had Chipotle for lunch cause I have a gift card to use up (which I ended up spacing on and forgetting to use!).

So no wonder my belt almost doesn't fit anymore.

Oh, and kudos to T.K. and Rachel (of Huntington Beach, Calif.) for winning the Amazing Race last night! Woo!

I'm Going to Miss This View

This was taken from my balcony on Saturday evening. My last Saturday in my apartment. Sad.



That there is Saddleback Mountain. I will be able to see the same mountain from my new place, just further away. You'll probably see it once I get moved next week.

Don't Be Hatin'

Gettin' Busy

It's very sad that I have such a boring day-to-day existence that I blog about work 3/4 of the time. I suppose since I spend 40+ hours a week working on work, it makes sense though. The problem is, I can't say too much about work because my website is all public and everything.

Well anyways.

Busy season has officially begun. Although I was pretty stinkin' busy the last 2 months of 2007, it really picks up steam this month. Looking at our work schedule, it seems I'm pretty much out of the office mostly until sometime in March. It goes by so fast, though, it's not bad. I'm trying to mentally prepare for working nights and weekends. This weekend will be the first of many. I need to go in tomorrow for a half a day. And to be ahead of the game so I can be more useful to my colleagues, I even went in tonight and spent a couple hours finishing up my junk.

This is how workaholics get their beginnings.

I'm going to try and think of some old stories to blog about in the near future so I don't have to write about work just for the sake of blogging. Because, really, work is work. You work. I work. It's all the same but with different jargon and pay scales. Who wants to come home from work to read about someone else's job?

Enough of that.

I move out next weekend.

I need to keep packing.

The Day Has Come

I've finally had to loosen my belt up a notch. It's been about 5 years on this belt. Hasn't budged. What's happening? Is 25 the age one starts to lose that high metabolism?

I guess I won't start to worry until I run out of notches to use on the belt. But my buddy Don just tells me to use a hole-puncher to make it bigger. Desperate times...

I'm Moving...

...down the street.

It's true. What? Did you think I was moving back to Minnesota? Alas, it is a wonderful place, but it was 72 degrees here today and completely awesome outside. It smelled like spring. I came home for lunch and opened my windows to air the place out. I love that spring smell. Especially in the middle of January.

But yes, I'm moving in with some family friends. A dad, mom, three kids, three turtles and one dog. I'm going to be saving major money, so I'm not completely insane. I'm paying $2000 to get out of my lease 3 months early. Sure, it sounds like a lot, which it is, but I will be up by $2000 by June for getting out.

I'd stay where I am, but I'm a auditor. I like to mitigate risk. Such as, my car is old and broken in and right now I have no money to fix it and/or replace it. Moving will change that. I need to go to the dentist. I'm pretty sure I need a crown or two. Moving will allow me to fix them chompers. I need to buy the review course for the CPA exam. It's expensive. Moving will free up some cash to pay for that.

See what I'm gettin' at? It's a no brainer. Plus, I'll be gone so much working that it's not worth paying my huuge rent when I'm not even here.

I move out the end of this month. I plan on staying with the family for at least three months, probably more if both parties are satisfied.

Now it'll actually feel like I really make what I make. College budget gone; real job budget here. The high cost of living in California will essentially be eliminated.

Christmas Photos

Here are the best of the pictures from Christmas 2007:


Grandpa Watts and Me



My siblings, their husbands, and their kids.



Me, cousins Brad and Blake



Kyleigh and Grandpa with his new hat (she purchased at the $1 store!)



An experiment I learned from David Letterman. Diet Coke and Mentos.



I will never wear these again.



ItalSteam!!! I've only seen these in Vegas. Santa tracked down the kiosk at Planet Hollywood Casino and picked one up for me.



It's never to early to domesticate (the big one's still learning).



Dad, Me, and Mom.



Kyleigh and Makenzie.



Mom, Dad, Aunt Karen, Uncle Tom



Heidi, Me, and Krysti.

Welcome Back!

Well, thank you very much. If I do say so myself.

Two weeks in Minnesota for Christmas/New Years. The two most popular questions I was asked:

1) How do you like California?
2) How did you get so much time off?

And the bonus question:

Do you have any women in your life?

I'll just answer the first one. I love California. I guess I didn't really realize how much I feel like I belong here until after my trip back home. Of course, it has nothing to do with my family. I would love for them to be closer, I just know that the Midwest is not for me. The weather aside, I was yearning to get back to Cali for reasons I can't explain. There's just something about it - SoCal in particular - that is unmatched. And that's what I missed. Now that my oldest sister is moved back to Minnesota, and I really am all alone out here, I feel like a loner. Aloner. Alone. But I have goals I want to accomplish, and those goals co-star Los Angeles with me in the leading role.

I achieved a lot in 2007. I finally graduated from college. I landed a real job. I moved across the country (again) with no one to lean on but myself (again). And I'm making it. 2008 is going to be even better, but if all I do this year is pass the CPA exam, I will still be on track with the 5-year plan. It's also a goal of mine to aggressively attack some debt. More on that at a later time.

Okay, I'll answer the bonus question, too. No. I don't. And I won't. I'm enjoying the single life too much. Plus, no time. Or money. Seriously, if I had a woman in my life right now, I think I would be miserable. I have too much I am focusing on without having to spend my time, attention, and $$$$ on a woman. Maybe in a couple of years. That's not to say I'm not looking, it's just a passive search. Extremely passive.

What else... I read about 1.2 books a month in 2007. I hit the 20,000 song mark in my iTunes library. I watched 30 less movies than in 2006. I'm assuming it will be even less this year. How depressing. It forces me to be more choosy though, which is good.

Oh, and I bought a Blu-Ray disc player. It's the bomb. And now that Warner Brothers announced they were ditching HD-DVD completely and going with Blu-Ray, it's only a matter of time before Blu-Ray wins and we have one hi-def DVD format. Hooray!

How many of you did I lose there?

Anyways, Christmas was great. I had a wonderful time spending with my loved ones. I look forward to seeing them again. In the meantime, it's time to tear up 2008 and make this my best year yet.

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

I'm on holiday for the next two weeks. Don't expect many posts, if any. I'm turning my brain off. I haven't been home for a year and I'm here to spend time with the family.

That sounded bitter.

It's not meant to be.

So everyone who reads my blog (and those of you who don't, you aren't reading this anyways), Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all.

I Think We Need a New Suitcase

For real.

See, our office is not paperless yet. So when we are out doing fieldwork, we have to haul a suitcase with us containing all of our perm files and workpapers. The bigger the client, the more files, the bigger (and heavier) the suitcase. And since I'm a lowly staff accountant, I'm the one who gets to pack and haul it all over. I frequently have to pay $25-50 for an overweight bag (more than 50lbs). You can imagine how that sucks to lug around.

Well, imagine pulling that weight behind you with a suitcase whose wheels aren't 100%...or 10%, for that matter. That's been the situation with our medium sized suitcase since the summer. Well, 3 weeks ago, under the 57 or so pounds, the back of it had a huge crack in it. Ryan decided to be classy and duct tape it. That surprisingly worked for two weeks.

Exhibit A:





When we got to New York, I pulled the newly named "ghetto blaster" suitcase off the baggage claim, set it upright, and watched it fall over.

The wheel had broken completely.

I'm wheeling/dragging this thing outside in the rain, through the puddles, to get to the cab. It is not good.

I get to the hotel and upon further inspection, this is what I see..

Exhibit B:




This thing still has to get back to Orange County by way of Chicago. There's no way.

Ryan and I go to Macy's, Bloomingdales, Kohls, Lord & Taylor (?), and even a luggage store: no one has hard cased luggage. No one. We can't do soft luggage; our printer would be toast. Who knows about the audit files.

Well we had no luck. Ryan managed to secure the wheel with some more duct tape. And somehow it made it rolling 4-6 blocks in Manhattan, through the airport, to Chicago, back to Orange County in one piece.

I go to the office on Saturday to unpack/pack for this week. I can't get the sucker open. What? Yeah, I guess TSA inspected it and proceeded to LOCK it. I noticed a little code engraved next to the keyhole saying "TSA 003." It leads me to believe that the TSA have a master key or something to open people's luggage. Problem is, it wasn't locked when they opened it, and we don't have a key for it.

I had to pry it open with a screwdriver. How I was able to find a screwdriver at an accounting firm is another story. But I did.

Well now the thing won't latch shut because we can't reverse the lock.

I hope by the time I get back from Minnesota we have a new piece of luggage for the busy season. Somehow I think we'll still be using the "ghetto blaster."

New York Photos

Here they are...


Bryant Park with the Empire State Building in the background (blue lights).



Times Square looking south (I think). I had trouble getting my bearings.



So close!



Not sure what this place is, but it's 1251 6th Avenue, if that helps.



I love this shot.



Rockefeller Center



Rockefeller Center



Rockefeller Plaza



I wish those dudes weren't in the way, but you had to pay to get an unobstructed shot.



I saw some lady taking this shot, told her it was a good one, and did it myself.






They turned out better than I had hoped. Can't wait to go back. And, I think being their in the winter enhanced the experience. It had to of. Look at it.

New York State of Mind

My first day in New York City, and my manager is sick. Being that he and I are the only ones on this job, that poses a problem. Monday morning, he basically just came to work with me just to introduce me to the CFO and get me started working. Then he went back to the hotel. I've never been left unattended like this since I started at the firm. Much less with a bunch of accented New Yorkers in a city I've never been to. Oh, the largest in the country at that. Well, after a minute of panic, it was no big deal. I figured things out. I got done what I needed to get done. I was a trooper.

Since we're at a culinary school, naturally, there was culinary (food?) to eat. I ate lunch with the CFO. Intimidating at first, but he was really cool. He gave me his little pocket map of the city and told me what to see Monday night. Oh, we also ate veal and some other weird looking stuff that tasted mighty fine. Loved it. And it was $2. Which the CFO picked up. Score!

By Monday evening, Ryan wasn't feeling any better, so I went out by myself. It was actually better that way. I was pretty much scared to go exploring on my own. They say it's safe, but I'm a Scandanavian from a small town in Minnesota, I was a little nervous. I left our hotel on 24th and 6th, intending toget to Midtown on the first subway I saw. Well, I didn't see one. I think I was a block over too far. So by the time I got to 34th Street, I decided to just keep on walking! It was mid 30s out; not bad actually.

I stopped in Bryant Park to watch some ice skaters; I wandered through Times Square and gawked like an idiot; I hiked it up to 52nd and saw the Ed Sullivan Theater - where David Letterman tapes; I saw Radio City Music Hall; finally, I went to Rockefeller Center and saw the big Christmas tree and all the ice skaters. It was pretty much surreal. To finally be in NYC and verify (to myself) that it exists beyond tv and folklore was pretty wonderful.

By the time I returned to the hotel, I'd walked for 2 and 1/2 hours. I was pretty much shot by then, but it felt good. I only saw one hobo. And I actually felt safer walking around Manhattan than I did walking around San Francisco. No idea why. Less weirdos (at least that I saw)?

Tonight we're off to Long Island for the rest of the week to audit a sister company of the one in Manhattan.

As I was walking back to the hotel last night, I couldn't help but be thankful that the $800 hotel bill (for only two nights! not even that nice of a place!), airfare, and food are being expensed. You can't beat that.

I hope to come back to New York on my own sometime and see the plethora of things I didn't get to see this time. Thankfully I hit two of the major sites. Success!

Alabama, Y'all!

Although Alabama isn't the most exciting place I've ever been, it sure has some of the nicest people. How can someone speaking in a slow southern drawl sound angry? I think it's impossible. We worked with some really nice people last week in Birmingham. We got there on Sunday, so that makes for a long week, but it went by pretty fast.

It was kind of a bittersweet time, though. Mike, my co-worker and friend, is moving on to another firm. This was his last trip and I'll be out of town this next week, so I guess our working relationship is over. We had such a great time this week, though. He's really enjoyable to work with, and I'm gonna miss him. Good thing we still have the batting cage to hang out at.

Wednesday night we managed to land tickets to the SEC-Big East Invitational college basketball doubleheader at BJCC Arena in Birmingham. The first game was Georgetown vs. Alabama followed by West Virginia vs. Auburn. I've never been to a real Division I event before, so I was super pumped. The place was electric. The band was playing. The cheermanleaders were throwing the lady cheerleaders up in the air. It was so much fun. We somehow landed good seats, too.

Being on the road for work is definitely worth it when we get to do fun stuff like that.

Tomorrow I leave for Manhattan and Long Island for the week. We're auditing two schools in four days. I'm a little concerned I won't get everything done that I need to. But I guess that's what late nights in the hotel room are for. My first time to New York, and it's looking like I won't even have time to sightsee. We're auditing culinary schools, and I hear that they feed us like no other. Five-course meals for lunch!! Sounds good to me.

Here's some pictures from Alabama:








Mike, Nicole, and me. The coolest accountants ever.






Mike and I with "Bear" Bryant and some other guy.

It's Not Even Busy Season Yet!

Yeah, it's been over a week since I've checked in. I know. I've been going and going for about two weeks. Well, really since the beginning of November. What with my trip to Connecticut, then a local job, Thanksgiving, Oakland last week Alabama this week and New York the week after....I'll have four days in the office then I'm home for Christmas. Just like that! Six months of my career, gone. Vamoose. I don't think I've ever written that word before.

I'm glad it's all going by fast but the biggest bummer is that I have DVDs from Netflix sitting here from two weeks ago that I haven't watched yet. That's hard for me to accept. The pre-career minded me would have hated that idea. I don't really hate it now; it just bugs me. Well, it won't get better. Work will only get busier. Is it almost summer?

Things are going well, though. The weeks on the road seem to go faster than I would have thought. I think I need to start being more conscious of how much I'm eating. Last week I ate at California Pizza Kitchen twice, PF Changs twice, and Cold Stone THREE times. There wasn't much selection obviously. Problem is, even if I'm full, I keep eating. I can't leave food on my plate, right?

Maybe I should buy a scale?

The goal for this week in Alabama is to eat a salad or something light for lunch every day, to not finish my meal at dinner, and to not buy a beer every night. Oh, and Cold Stone or something similar only once the whole week. Sure, when my role is to be an accountant during the day, I like to pork out at night. One, because I look forward to it, and two, I'm going to expense it anyways. But I don't want to start getting a gut.

Back to back east coast trips is going to totally mess with my sleep. I'm going to start complaining right now. It's going to be brutal. I'll be back here for one day next weekend, then it's off to NYC. I suppose I'll just stick to eastern time next weekend. Might as well.

I'll try and post something this week from Alabama if they have the internets there. I'm not sure if it's reached the deep south yet.

When the heck am I going to study for the CPA exam?